SLEEP WITH THE 7 FISHES

This game looks like it's gonna be sick. I can still remember spending hours on end playing the original on PS2 trying to beat it. Maybe if I'm lucky Santa will bring me a PS3 when he rolls through. His sleigh was recently spotted in and around the Hunt's Point area scooping up sloppy elf hookers. He will have quite the appetite so be sure to leave out some cookies for the man. He loves banana walnut oatmeal coconut chocolate chip w. sour sprinkles.

Merry Frickin' Chrissmas.

This skit is a few years old, but if you haven't seen or heard it you'll get a kick out of this for sure. Did he say Nucc?

...and yet even more fun with the I talians.

Russian Mob on vaca. You know that shit is all inclusive. Gold like that helps take the focus away from the saggy tits and hideous tights. That chain is truck! Ayyyyyyyyy! Damn, I haven't used that word since Redhead Kingpin and the FBI were in heavy rotation.


Time Fly

Here's a look back at a brief history of hip-hop clothing.

ADIDAS (RAISING HELL)


Early ass sponsorshit. Never had one of these, wish I did now though.

SKIDZ

If you had a pair of these you were cool. If you didn't, you were a bum. If you still have a pair, they better be your pajamas. Only other thing they could possibly be used for is a makeshift tablecloth.

Z.CAVARICCI

These were the nuthuggers that coined the term. Oh, or maybe it was LEE jeans. Whateva, either waaaaayy, you better not still have a pair of these. I'll fuck you up if I see you, and you'll catch another one the next time our paths cross if I catch you with a tightroll on your cuff.

CROSS COLOURS

I had a few pairs of these. It actually wasn't a bad idea... use different color thread in the seams of the jeans. They were hella comfortable too. Some of the shirts were overly loud and some of the authentic ones looked like bootlegs. Must have been an idiot that started this company. Colors is spelled wrong as well. They faded and never came back. Kinda like Special Ed.


GUESS JEANS

The expensive, Mercedes of jeans. They still make jeans today I think. No more triangle patch though, who knows why? Maybe because all the people that bootlegged the shirts. You remember the ones with the stripes that said 'guess jeans' across the front. Classic high school dance shit. Got me some digits tho, I can't fuckin' complain.

40 ACRES

This was pro-black company that had no shortage of young white followers. They produced some gear to promote movies like 'Malcolm X' and "Crooklyn'.  I know Spike Lee had something to do with this company, could care less what it was. Remember where you made your the majority of your dough Spizike'... off all the white kids wanting to be black. They call them Wiggers.


AIR JORDAN VII (BORDEAUX) OG

These are what set me apart from everyone else in high school. My mother treated my brother and myself to a pair each. I got these joints, and my bro copped the white jumps. I wish i never took them out of the box. They wouldn't fit me, but I'm positive I could get some serious scratch for these. Pure bargaining power right here.



KARL KANI JEANS

My freshman year in high school this is all I rocked. I had just about every different color of these embroidered tees. The favorites were orange and silver, the foil rainbow reflector joint, and the one shown in the pick. Did I forget to mention I also copped the Olympic AJ VII's. They went perfect with this tee.

SERIAL KILLER

There was only 2 places that sold these tees around me. Gspot, shouts to my man AntDaG, and some random store in the mall. I don't know why some hasn't attempted this with all the new celebs. Hey, that's a good idea. Be on the lookout for the new 'PULLIN CARDS' clothing line coming soon.

KINGPIN


Kingpin gear came around and their logo and concepts were dope as fuck. I owned at least 3 of these tees. They are still in business making MMA gear or some shit like that. Refer to your nearest Burlington Coat Factory to see how this company went from Kingpin to clothespin.

WU WEAR

The first Wu gear I ever bought was in Staten Island right from the Wu Wear store. We had heard about the grand opening and decided to go down and check it out. I copped a few tees and my man Treez scooped up a fleece and a dope Wu hat. The total bill was like $400 or some shit. Then we drove back and hit a party that night and people were buggin when they saw the gear. We both got ass that night. Twice.

I'll see if I can find some more, and don't try to bite my ideas and reblog it fuckface.

Where Everybody Knew My Name.

LARK TAVERN

Haven't heard any word on when, or even if Lark Tavern will reopen. I made it to the shows that I could and enjoyed chillin with the rest of my people at Lark Tav. I can't wait to see if they hook this place up. I guess for the time being Tess and the gang have been bar tending and doing band nights at Mcguirys. Catch up with them over there and tell them Vinyl said hello. We can only hope they use some of that cash to expand the parking lot.

I gotta be out, someone just walked in.

FAM FRESH

Papa_Nucc-Organic_Winter_Sampler-2010-UC

I'm check this out right now and this shit is tight. Most of these I heard because I did cuts on a few. I always respect the music though and try to wait until the entire product drops before playing shit out to myself. That's no fuckin' fun, then when the shit actually does drop, you aren't enjoying it along with everyone else. Nucc always comes correct and we have more great music on the way. I'm working on ripping a live radio broadcast from a few weeks ago on WRPI. Shit is fire, but I want to edit it and clean it up before dropping it. Stay in touch to the blog to find out more about that.
 In the mean time.... Grab This!

DATADAY

Sorry I haven't posed a while...I just wanted to give 'The Empire Plan' some time at the top of the blog. Please refer all further downloads of the album to The Official Discography of The Vinylcologist. Always more content to come. You know me.


Dog_Day_Afternoon

I had to run to Stall-Mart the other day to grab something and as usual got held up by their dumb-ass staff. Onionfunk idiot didn't know how to do a double transaction. These are the overstuffed, underfucked people they have helping you this holiday season. Be sure to bring extra cash and tip well. Anyway, I was browsing around and saw "Dog Day Afternoon" for $5 and had to have it. Which made the transaction even more complicated for Wetard Randyballs at the register. I wasn't leaving till I had the shit I came there to get and the movie I couldn't wait to get home and watch. In the end it was well worth the aggravation and hassle. I recommend you get up on how not to rob a bank. Attica!

"tell 'em put their guns down!" ...and someone get me a helicopter a plane, and a fuckin manager!!!!

ON THE RECORDS
Big Shug- F. DJ Premier

Had to post this shit. I love the way they flipped this with all the vintage equipment. This is actually from '07 but they didn't release the video till this year. Big ups to Shuggy Diamonds and Mean Joe Preme.


Burn Bollywood Burn

Don't fall victim to pure stupidity dis year. Grab you some of dose Family Dollar Xmas lights. Be sure to pick up some condoms da next time you hit duh place up playa. Time to go get some ash. Lates.

BETWEEN THE LIONS

The_Vinylcologist-The_Empire_Plan-2010-JCE


Alright, already. Here it is!
Hey,....The suspense was killing me as well. That's why I pushed the date back up. ...that, and because we can do that kind of shit over here at United Crates. I'd like to personally thank everyone who has been extra supportive and patiently waited on this project to drop. It's been a long time coming. I assure you that you will not be disappointed. Be sure to make a few extra copies of this to spread around. One for Grandma, One for Dad , and an extra one for yourself. This will get stolen out of your car. Be sure to follow United Crates on Twitter @unitedcrates. Please, be patient and allow some time for me to reply. Don't expect me to be hypertweeting, I have bigger fish to fry and better beats to break. If you did find us via Twitter consider yourself lucky and smarter than the average bear. Aight, you've waited long enough.
Enjoy.
DOWNLOAD THE EMPIRE PLAN
"he came, he saw, he kicked some ass!" -some old movie, I can't remember the name
Recorded and Produced by The Vinylcologist
Mastered by P.J. Katz
Cover Design by Flux and The Vinylcologist

Animal Cracker apppears courtesy of FWORD Records
Jack Of All Trades appears courtesy of Scotch Late Nights Music
GM appears courtesy of GCE Entertainment
Ed Powers appears courtesy of Inktoxic Inc.
Don Smog appears courtesy of Tackleburied Media

SUSPENCED

I always thought as a kid this logo did have something to do with the WWF.



He's old as dirt now. What you can't see is his wheelchair and diaper.



It should say "Jared get's no pussy"

FRILLTASTIC!!!


I was just bullshitting about why no one thinks of anything original like 'In Living Color'. Even 'Saturday Night Live' has sucked since the Sandler and Farley alum left. Nah, they'd much rather follow the trend and put out a corny reality show that is anything but reality. My favorite is "Desperate Housewhores That Swallow For Benzes But Get Cheated on By Their Husbands While Throwing Their Daughters Super Sweet 16 Teen Pregnancy Party". Good show right there. More comedy, less drama please. World. Is anyone fuckin' there?


I feel like a zombie. I have to go to bed.



g'night wiggas.

ALIEN FLEMINADE FABLES

Hello all established readers, fans, and followers. I know that you have been without the knowledge of why I haven't officially dropped my album. I'm going to give it too you straight because I want you to really know what happened. I would've loved to release The Empire Plan on my birthday, which was Black Friday. I had the album done for 2 months actually, but decided to added another song that I felt had to be on there, in turn, it slowed the process. I gave the final to Papa Nucc and he started work on it right away. The day before Thanksgiving Katz had about 75% of it mastered at that point. He was going away for Thanksgiving, and I'm sure if I stayed on top of it, he would've have had it done. I'm just not the guy that bugs the shit out of people to get shit done. I'd rather leave them alone to do their thing. The one thing I didn't want to happen though was for it to be rushed, so me being me, I told him take his time and do his best. If it didn't drop on Black Friday who cares. I know a good amount of people are waiting for it, but the true fans would give me a break because I gave them one. Pun intended. I pushed it back to Xmas eve and that made me feel comfortable that it would be done by then. Well, turns out it will be finished early, so I will give it out this coming Friday. I promise, you will not be let down. I've been giving random people listens and taking their feedback. Not because I'm going to change anything, but because I'm curious about what they think of the album. Everyone enjoyed what they heard. Good for me, but better for you. This album will be given out for free for promotional use only and only be intended for use as a parody of the music industry as a whole. 

Here's another good Christmas cd for your collection.

OPEN YOUR GIFT


3DEE


I think this is titled Gates of Hell, but not sure. This shit is nuts. I don't know how they do it. You know you'd be nervous to walk over it.

Don't ask me why I've been ending the blogs with a funny .gif file.

Just enjoy the ride.

FLY DAY

Be sure to check out The Capital Coup Hosted by Albany's own Lofi Lobo. Every Friday from 10-12, and sometimes longer. Oh shit, It's coming on in an hour or so. Stream it HERE.
He plays the best in exclusive local, and underground  hip hop. I tune in every week and have yet to be disappointed. I feel like a dick I haven't put this up sooner. Big up to Lobo, Dj Trumaster, and the rest of my 518 heads.

"WHEN I WAS ALL SO SIMPLE" (and plain.)

I remember begging my mother to buy me this because I was the only kid in the neighborhood that didn't have one. Everyone was racing theirs every sat morning on a homemade dirt track my buddy had in his backyard. I just wanted to be down with that. When I finally got mine it was over. I used to work on models when I was growing up, so I had an advantage over the other kids. Before I even brought it to the first race, I stripped the stickers off it and custom painted it black with blue writing. Added racing stickers i got out of a gumball machine. It looked crazy, and all the other kids had the one in the picture. You can bet your ass the next week everyone was trying to paint their shit up. Some of them looked like a finger painting threw up, other kids actually enlisted their dads' to help them. It's just funny to me to recall that story at Christmas 2010, knowing that I was trying to be different way back then. Guess some things never change.


This was the Jumpity Jump when I was growing up. Vanessa's Lunchbox. This was top of the line back in the day.

Speaking of Vanessa. Awshit. We always forgive, but we never forget.


Hey Kobe, we're all still waiting on a followup to your 2000 hip hop release.


Juss Listen.


This is the 85th time he played "eye of the tiger" at his Xmas party.

Word is.

BUMFOUNDED

Check out these 2 assholes on Broadway in Saratoga trying to mount this horse for a picture. This really gets out of hand. This is what happens when you let Jim Beam empty your wallet. Feel free to put your own tune to it. I used Glen Campbell's "Rhinestone Cowboy'. I feel this is what country songs were made for.
You can't hear any audio, but I'm pretty sure they were saying: "nanana na one more, one mo, one more"
After all is said and done his boy actually got the still pic. I don't care what anyone says, that's animal abuse. Poor horse.

MERRYCHRISMAHANAKWANZICKA

Booker_T._and_The_MG's-In_The_Christmas_Spirit-1966-UC


Dope ass holiday LP Booker T and the MG's  put out on Atlantic. 
go ahead, get your DOWNLOAD on.

                 COMMON COURTESY

Never saw someone get owned By an old lady. I feel sorry for the idiot that trys to steal her purse. If you watch closely, she is actually asleep at the crosswalk.

TYE RAID

Sportscenter threw down it top 10 tirades last night and it was everything I expected. I love watching people lose control. Glad to know that I'm not the only one.

We stay makin' moves.


I'm out, till the next one.

DA SLAPSTICK GRANDMASTA

Leslie Neilsen    R.I.P.
The star you know well from his roles in movies such as Airplane, The Naked Gun Series, Wrongfully Accused, Spy Hard, and The Bad Golf Instructional Videos has passed away this morning. "Surely, you can't be serious.... I am serious, and don't call me shirley." He died from complications of pneumonia in his home in Florida. A say day in comedy for sure. I may have to break out the Naked Gun Box set and pour some out for my homeboy. You will be missed. Drebin.

Check this clip featuring John Walsh of America's Most Wanted. This is taken from the movie Wrongfully Accused. Purely classic. I laughed so hard I farted when I saw this clip.

THE VINYL COUNTDOWN

Good News, and Bad News  
The Bad News:
 'The Empire Plan' which was scheduled to be released Black Friday, will now be pushed back almost a month to Xmas due to unavoidable delays.
The Good News:
The album will be given for free download at Midnight Xmas Eve... VIA Dusty but Digital, and 12hours later VIA Mexican-Taint
This album will not be available on Bandcamp due to download limits and legalities. Not to mention , just like everyone else, they want in your pockets too. This will be issued for promotional use only.
Share it with who you like and remember where you heard the beats first, no matter how many people try to rip off these songs. Fizuck the norm. Fizuck Cornyay too.



Vince_Guaraldi-A_Charlie_Brown_Christmas-1965-JCE _INT

Here's one of the best holiday jazz recordings of all time... of all time! "Skating" is a b-side that you may have heard on the radio, but not as much as those corn-turd 80's bands singing about Xmas. "Christmas Time is Here" is the best Xmas song ever written. Period. It just reminds me of when life was so easy as a kid. Enjoy this and sip your poison slow to it. Save some energy for New Years, will ya.?
Download it here ---JOE COOL

Once Again It's On...

The Holidays are upon us and we all get spun into a whirlwind of activities, shopping, eating, drinking, smoking, more drinking, shopping, and sometimes even traveling. Along with all sorts of other shit we could do without. I'm not trying to be a scrooge in anyway. All's I'ma say is dis.....Don't get trampled by all the people waiting outside the airport when the TSA opens the doors and screams " more intrusive tit-touching and ass-gripping patdowns ...TODAY ONLY!!!" Stay away from the guys in line that have train conductor hats on gripping a handkerchief. Then there's the Black Friday deals. How bad must the people feel when they are the next person in line to grab a 40 inch flatpanel for $289 and the supply runs out. AWWdamnnn. I guess  you could always buy one off the street. It's funny when they get home and realize they just spent $450 on a box of bricks. Bricks aren't HD, nor can they hooked up to cable. Merry Shaftmas.

Here are some movies you're sure to come across surfing the channels this month.
The Ref


Wannabe burglar Dennis Leary trys to housejack some rich people, the tables turn on him when the people he jacked, annoy him to the point of snappage.

A Christmas Story (classic)

This movie has stood the test of time. Classic in every sense of the word. Check TBS for the 24hr marathon. You can actually pay to rent this house for your holiday.That's word.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

My Cousin Eddie's RV Ornament

The Computer Aided Lego version of Cousin Eddie's RV


The Ariel Shot of Clark's Griesbalz hard work.
This has to be my favorite Christmas movie of all time. I make sure not to watch it when I catch it surfing channels. I have to put it in the DVD player, crank it up and laugh my ass off. Everything from the family that's in town, to the annual grind we all have to deal with along with the workplace scene is true humor exposed. We all experience, or know someone who does on a daily basis all these different aspects of Christmas. Simple and timeless. "ah he's just yakin on a bone. uuhfusafrcd !%, he got it up!"  -cousin eddie

Next Friday

Not as funny as the above, but definitely has a place on my list. These guys are just chemistry on screen. Can you pass the hot sauce?

The Santa Clause

Great movie...


....if you get your kicks off watching Tim "the toolman" Taylor in a fatsuit trying to save Christmas.


Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer

I remember working at Saturday Matinee when I was 16 and this movie sold like 6000 copies during the season. I was amazed. This movie was actually the inspiration for Yukon Don Celcius. a.k.a. Don Smog back in like '98. This dudes name is Yukon Cornelius. I guess he was on that mad rap mountainman stylee back then. Guy looks like a Wario version of the unibomer. ...Or a tripped out, Irish version of the Smog man himself.


Goodbye for now.


we'll be watching in the shadows. Say uncle.