Thursday, December 18, 2008
SEE THEM FAM-A-LAM FREE STYLES
I was playin on the computer and hit up youtube, so I decided to give you a taste of what Real Hip-Hop used to be. This was around the time that Yak was living on campus at Oneonta, and we were tipping back full bottles of Henny spinning the breaks in his boy Surreal's room, before my radio shows. Cage was currently working on "Movies for the Blind", and Copywrite was receiving kudos for "The High Exaulted" LP. I wonder why we don't see this happen anymore????...I Know why, because people want to abuse thier multitrack recorders and act like it was all in one breath. Whatever you choose, remember that this is how it all started...no notebooks, although you know it was written. It still took some serious time to memorize. Or did it? Maybe not. The lines are dope enough to remember themselves. Enjoy this 10 min banger and keep hittin' that "do over button". BTW, I LOVE NERD RAP.
BEEF...IT'S WHAT"S WITH HIP HOP.
Here's Dame Dash's take on the Jay-Z and Jim Jones Beef. The two are labelmates and this shit has been going on for some time now. Good luck fixing this, "yungfreshtadef".
..and you know, PRIMO GOT SOMETHING TO SAY.
Ludacris and Primo working on the new album that just dropped. Take notes, this is how you should be brainstorming. Naturally. Later on then.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
In case your mom told you to go to bed early last night, here's something that I thought all you true Nikeheads would love. I mean seriously, all that I kept thinking of was Phife's line "I'll beat that ass with my shoe". Here's the new lineup for spring expected to hit retail. Go and get you some ... that is... if you still are collecting. Sorry, no pictures.
Monday, December 08, 2008
The new J-Zone / Chief Chinchilla promo for the album "Live at the Liqua Sto" . This album is hilarious and had me spitting wine all over my equipment. Truly Zone at his finest. Black, White, Or Spanish, you figure it out.
Grab a download of this new banger produced by Madlib's brother Oh No feat. Redman. Any fan fan of Street Fighter 2 will love this one. Also, I hear they are coming out with a re-release of it in high def. that shit should be dope. Check it! Mo new buttas ta come, we jus gettin' started.
Try not to be too ghetto. rollin' on dubs.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Well, It's the holidays again and we all get to eat good, fight shoppers, watch football, and have plenty of other shit to deal with. Some of what we have to deal with is annoying relatives that haven't seen you in a while. I can't exactly say that have this problem due to the face that my aunts and uncles are pretty cool. I know though that there are some of you that just plain hate being social. For all you I've come up with a few excuses that are sure to get you out of any holiday function.
Vinyl's "don't feel like it" Checklist:
1. Some of us are married and have no choice, but if you actually have a set of nuts on you here's a good one. Tell your wife, or mate that if anyone makes a smart remark about your cheerful sweater that is smoothie colored, or outdated corduroys that have no ripples left, that you'll have to just diss the shit out of them and not hold anything back. Act like you have a short fuse for bullshit. this may get you out of at least on function. If not you can always try number two.
2. The day before the event, go out for hot wings and beer, but instead of ordering your wimpy mild sauce, go for the gold with the atomic sauce. Pound at least 2 beers before they hit the table, then try to get as many as you can down before you leave. Take breaks to ensure maximum stomach elasticity. I know it's punishing, but it can't be half as bad as having to peel potatoes, move chairs into the house from the garage, or listen to 10-20 little bastards deck the halls with screeching screams and laughter. The funny thing about the screams and laughs is that it seems to always result in at least 2 or 3 of them crying from taking a hard spill, getting duffed by a bigger kid , and last but not least, one of them bitching that some stole a toy away from them. I love this part of the night. They actually get what they deserve after all that bickering and whining. Back to the gimmick. When you wake up you will take the best shit ever, only it will be about as runny as those little kids noses at the party. You may be bed-ridden for a few hours but this will def get you out of going to something you don't want to attend. For a little less bodily harm try 3.
3. You could always just get up extra early, hit the beverage center and start working on something around the house or apartment while drinking. After all , where do you have to go today??? Smash beers or a bottle of wine untill you are too obnoxious to be taken anywhere. This might get you into trouble, but just play dumb like usual and forget how many you've had. The key is to make sure something got done, cause then you have something to fall back on. This could get you out of that family meeting with death, and best of all, give you some time alone to chill and work on something more serious like watching porn.
Weather or NOT...
With the holidays around we come to find ourselves watching a lot of the weathermen. (as if they actually know what fuck is going on) Checkin' and surfing to see if we have to get up early to shovel or salt the driveway. Wondering how long our commute is going to be, or even if we are going to get blazed that weekend and hit the golf courses to go sledding. If you live in upstate NY as I do you have to deal with these things. Another thing that sucks is the overly gay terms that the weathermen throw around when describing these occurances. I've populated a list that explains (or tries to explain) these in detail do that you know what they may mean.
Commonly Used Weatherterms... (we could all do without)
1. Noreaster: Short for "Northeastern" (shortened for what reason? As if they already weren't collecting a free paycheck). This is at the top of the list because obviously this is one of their favorites that are used to scare the public. What it is: A weather system that comes out of nowhere and drops a ton of snow or sleet within a given period. What it sounds like: A hick term that inquires "no" about the holiday easter. Ex: "you aint gonget nonew clothes fer christmas, noreaster. its jesus'es birfdays, notyers"
2. Clipper System: represented by short bursts of blips on the screen that barely drop anything to the ground. What it is: A system of snow or rain that is intermittent and unpredictable and rarely leave more that in inch in its path. Hence why they tryed to create a cool name for it. What it sounds like: The latest mail order product from The Sharper Image released in order to save the company from filing chapter 11. Ex: "the new sharper image clipper system come with a whopping 45 attachments, including the pube featherer, armpit cup, nose grinder, earbuster, and if you act now we'll even throw in the free bungdrill attachment (a $0.49 value), BUT WAIT!!!!!!!! if you call within the next ten minutes while eating a mustard, creamed corned hen and mayo sandwich dipped in an ashtray we'll gladly triple you order. (and they cll them "info"mercials, fuckin' assclowns)
3. Snow Squalls: Pretty much the same as a clipper system, but better. It actually stays consistant for a number of days dropping an unpredictable amount of precipitation. There is that word again, unpredictable. Is it just me, or are these guys real broad like psychics that promise you about a person you'll meet, or money you will run into in the coming years. (another bunch of jerkasses). What it is: Minimal patches of snow that dust the ground for several days. What it sounds like: A special bird only found in the foothills and mountains of the 'rondacks that multiplies by masterbation. Their special skills include ripping into old peoples garbage, robbing camper cabinets bare, and setting wildfires.
4. Alberta Clipper: Yet another term we could do without. There are preceeded by an artic air mass. What it is: A small, fast-moving low-pressure system that forms in western Canada and travels southeastward into the United States. What it sounds like: Another weatherman that basically had too much time on his hands and decided to come up with one more term to make people shit their bugle boys. Or it could be the "new and improved" Sharper Image product that makes less noise with patented "quietclip" technology that is strictly used for cuttin your boyfriend's or husband's unwanted jungle below the belt that he somehow forgot about. This is generally used while he is a sleep after a long night of tequila shots. Act now and they will throw in a tub of Orange Clean, a package of used Shamwows, and the tribal bikini line attachment. As always, order can be tripled if you call within the next 2 minutes while sitting naked, drinking old public pool water, staring at the blinking 12:00 on your busted betamax player that's still plugged in.
.... more to come from your favorite creative juiceman next week. (maybe)
Monday, June 09, 2008
Well folks... it is offically summer and the heat is here. Every year we bitch and moan about how cold it is up here in the Capital District, then when we finally get the nice weather, fools run for the AC and central air. Just to keep you up on the shiznitfor the '08 season here's a few real dope recipes that will help you keep as cool as a penquin's nutsack.
Vinyl's Knockoff Sweet Tea:
****ingredients you will need:
-1 box of Lipton tea bags (not to be confused with your roommates teabag that usually ends up on your chin if you drank to much that night)
-one large pot filled with water about half to three quarters full
-wooden spoon (just like the one mom used to slap the shit outta ya with)
-1 large pitcher (to transfer tea into for chillin')
Note: Don't be a know-it-all dumbass and make this shit without having something to transfer it into. Iced tea doesn't look as appetizing when your drinking it out of a sauce pot.
-Let water come to a boil, in the meantime start opening about 14-18 teabags (depending on the sweetness desired) and put them aside. When the water comes to a boil, twist together and drop all the teabags in the boiling water and bob them up and down to get all the tea the blend. Shut the stove off and take off the heat. Stir in sugar to whatever sweetness you like, then let stand about a 1/2 hour. Then transfer to pitcher and put in fridge to chill. Serve once cold.
Vinyl's Red Eyed Flemonade:
****ingredients you will need:
-1 half gallon Newman's Own Virgin Lemonade
-2 packages of fresh strawberries (check thoroughly, they hide the bad ones at the bottom of the package, those snakes.)
-1 quart of Price Chopper fat free vanilla yogurt
-1 full tray ice from the freezer
-1 small bottle Tanquray RANGPUR Gin (if you are an alcoholic studderin' fool like me)
-Fill half the blender with Newman's lemonade, put in about 5-6 ice cubes, and 1 cup of the vanilla yogurt. Cut the lime in half and squeeze juice till empty. Blend till it looks like a shake, then throw in about 7-8 strawberries minus the top stems, and pulse 4-5 times till the color red spreads throughout. Add 2 shots Tanquray RANGPUR Gin to give dat sheet a widdle kick. bword.
The Worst Bullshitter Lb. for Lb....
We have all been anticipating the rematch of De La Hoya vs. Mayweather since the first one seemed like a money leeching project. I mean hell, even if there was a rematch, De La Hoya probably would've won so that they could have a third, and final match. Big paydays for both individuals since Mayweather is pretty much owned by De La Hoya's Golden Boy Promotions. Mayweather announced Saturday that he is retiring for good and called the rematch off. I'm sure this isn't the end of pretty boy Floyd's wrath. They (the ESPN commentators) will probably question if he is the best fighter pound for pound, even though he chose to retire. Is it just me or do you get pissed too when people win your money playing cee-lo, and then leave with it. I see him coming back in a few years after he goes through all that dough from the first fight betting on Xavier to go all the way in next years bracket. You see there is an element of hype that is involved that sells a fight., for this one , it was just too obvious, it wasn't there. Even HBO passed on the countdown series for part 2. Maybe we'll be lucky enough to see him go up against Kimbo and get his ear popped open. That probably still wouldn't shut him up. Until then there are still some great fights coming up... peep it.
Undefeated Joe Calzaghe is set to fight Roy Jones Jr. sometime in November, Cristobal Arreola has a match set with Chazz Witherspoon for June 21 on HBO. That should be a good fight as long as Chazz doesn't fight like Reese Witherspoon.
That Warm Sound
Upcoming releases include:
Origin Ill -"Old New Shit"
a collective of rarities from Smog, Mangler, Vinyl , JOAT, Pope and Holy Terror from back in the day. Circa '92-'02
-due out as soon as i get Kat'z ass in gear.... or teaches me how to mix like he does.
Jack N. Vinyl - "Expensive Scotch and Cheap Wine"
a mixtape that has been long overdue. It's officially played out to us, so now you can have it.
-the promoleak is available if you are "in the loop" wiggaz.
Note: this is the unfinished version, the finished copy will have hidden tracks and various drops from famous people we like to make fun of.
The Vinylcologist - "Gone But Not Forgotten Part 2"
the long-awaited follow up from the first.
-no leak available yet. waiting on covers. this will be exclusive to a few mixtape sites only. keepa lookin'
I apoligize for the delay on all these products, but we are very laid back and really don't do this for money, that's why the quality is top-notch. we refuse to put out thrown together material in hopes of creating a long lasting vibe that can be played 3 times a year or 100. it makes no difference... wiggas still know.
-ALIFE SESSIONS -