Thursday, May 26, 2005


Special American Idol Update!!!!!!!!

Last night was the night that every yokel in love with American Idol was waiting for. The showdown between Bo Bice and Carrie Underwood. From the beginning I picked Carrie to win, this was even before they were in Hollywood. The girl is extremely photogenic and not to mention she can blow. Not dicks...with her voice I mean, get you dickhead out of the gutter there calamari breath. Anyway, because Bo was so laid back I think that he kinda shot himself in the balls with the voters. He just tried to act a little too cool for everyone. We all know that in the music bizness you have to be cheezy to sell records, simpleton. You also have to know people to get put on...forget talent...that shit is tossed out the door when they know that you can make them (the industry leeches) money to paid for thiers cars, houses, and boats. If you are marketable than that is another added bonus that they view as 1,000,000 more records sold. The real reason why Bo didn't only is he a little concieded, but everyone felt sorry for Carrie because she made them. Bo acted like he could give a fuck what people though...and we all know what happens when you don't give a fuck. The voters take on the same mind state. Plus a lot of Bo's fans were to reliant on him winning, meaning that they may have not voted as many times as before. To bring this gay ass blog entry to a close, I just wanna say thank you Carrie for proving all these grungy muthafuckers wrong. Bo...go back to that weak band of yours and write some songs about how you shouldn't have acted like you had the shit won. Carrie...I'll be waiting in your bedroom with just Timberland boots, a box of halls cough drops and a pitched tent, see you when you get home. Don't forget to bring you friend Mikalah Gordon home. I know she wants me too. No woman can resist going to The Vinylcologist. ;)


Support Shitty Music...Download G-Unit.


Wednesday, May 25, 2005


The green leaf is dead. The Cigarellos is where the shit is at...that is if you can find them. Only sold in some states across the US, NY being one of them. Cigarellos taste sorta like a Swisher Sweet, but with a stronger after taste. They cost about $20- a box or about $1.50 a piece, but if you do try one, wet it good because they have a tendency to suck up every bit of moisture like a piece of sheetrock. As long as you fill it with the dankest of trauma, you have nothing to worry about. I really mean nothing to worry about.

Fast as a Speeding Bullet...

The Preakness was this past weekend and to everyone's suprize, Afleet Alex overcame an almost tragic stumble that could've cost Jeremy Rose his career or his life. After catching the legs of Scrappy T while trying to get over to the rail, Alex lost control of his stride, but regained it to come back for a long awaited win. Check this shit...
The Official Results:
-win --Afleet Alex
-place --Scrappy T
-show --Giacomo
-4th --Sun King
The sad part about this is that if you scroll down in the blog, you can see my picks before the race. I picked three out of four horses that came in the top four.
My Picks:
-win --Sun King
-place --Giacomo
-show --Afleet Alex
-4th --didn't pick.
But...assuming that I picked Scrappy T, I would've been $5,150.00 richer. That is also if I bet the Superfecta and boxed the wager. Still tho, better than being broke or winning the triple straight that paid $872.00 . damn I could'a used that lute for this weekend. AWWWWWW SHHHHIIIIT!!!!!

This is the bed and breakfast up the hill from our townhouses...and the view from thier is just as good. They just finished renovating the building this season so it should be open for biznezz. This trip has been a long time coming, and everyone we are going with should have a ball. Bluntz, Beer, Wine, Liquor, Poker, and Drunken nakedness. Plus the CD is slamming and we will have a Henny and Bluntz listening session on Friday night. So bring you weed and your liver. Jack of all Trades may even smoke. That would be great to see. The other thing that would be great is if the weatherman would stop fuckin with all of us so I don't have to hunt down his Mike "molester grill" Bono ass and make him eat seagull shit. The weather better be nice .......Or Else!

I'm not sure when I will be updating could be tommorrow or it could be after the long weekend. Until then. Bye Bye

Saturday, May 21, 2005


The Preakness is today... post time: 20min
win: Sun King --trained by Nick Zito...maybe this time the luck will go his way.
place: Giacomo --Winner of the Kentucky Derby trys to go for number 2 of 3 wins in the Triple Crown. This is the favored horse of the day, this is why he will only place.
show: Afleet Alex --Helping the American Cancer Society find a cure with over $1,000,000 in donations from a small lemonade stand. He was also favored to win at the Kentucky Derby but didn't live up to the expectations. Look to see him make a dash near the end of the race.
This should be a great race...can't wait for Travers this August. wooooooot!!!!!
-----More updates on da blog after the race----

Thursday, May 19, 2005


Haven't touched up da blog in a minute so I feel like I owe all of you. I'll make it worth wild...I promise. Jack of all Trades and myself recently went on a crate digging mission in Saratoga (Land of Milfs) at Last Vestage. Beforehand, I got to witness Jack indulging in his first Red Robin Hamburger. I told him to take it easy on the fries, but he didn't. I told him to go light on the mayo, but he didn't. I told him to ask the chicks next to us to go digging for records too, but again, he didn't. Although he had a smile that would make Sammy Davis Jr. look like a chump, I knew that he was gonna be feeling that quarter pounder rush to the gut after his third iced tea. I was just plain hurt, trying to smoke to the last bit of dignity I had away. Overall, we enjoyed our visit to Red Robin. To me that place is just like a Chuck E Cheeses' with a fully stocked bar. I can't wait to go back for more Freckled Lemonade and USDA classic ass droppage.
During our digtime we came across some bomb samples (some of which I have already used) and a strip of 45's marked down to a quarter a piece. The thing that freeked me out about Vestage was that the employees were all looking at me like I was gonna steal shit from thier dollar bins. Gimme a break buddy, I got enough shit records of my own sitting around that keep finding thier way home after i throw them in the trash. Thanx for the Santana Joints though you fuckfaces. At the end of the day I spent around $35 on records and food. I guess Rachel Ray should watch out, I can get buzy on $40 a day. Boink!

All I wanna know is why? Why would you cut you hair off? Why would you wanna look like a Sinead O'Connor look-a-like. Why would this help her career? Why... are they releasing a G.I. Jane 2? Why did Jada Pinkett think that shit was cool? Why is Jadakiss' song not played anymore? Why does Adrian Brody's picture come up when I search this bitches name? Why am I wasting my time even on this hoe? Why? Why.

By The New York Times
SEATTLE, May 16 - Jason Giambi said Monday that he was finished talking about the Yankees' standing offer that he go to the minors to regain his batting stroke. Giambi was annoyed that the offer, made by General Manager Brian Cashman and Manager Joe Torre in a meeting last Tuesday, became public knowledge. "I said what I needed to say," Giambi said before Monday night's game against the Seattle Mariners. "It's done and over with, and move on."
But Giambi remains convinced that someone in the organization leaked information about his meeting with Cashman and Torre to the news media.
"I was ambushed," Giambi said.
Giambi, who did not speak to reporters after his game-deciding double in Oakland on Sunday, said he did not know what the Yankees would do with him at the end of this trip.
Giambi, 3 for 12 in the three games in Oakland, started again at designated hitter Monday night and was 1 for 4.
"I have no idea," Giambi said. "I can only control what I can control."
But Giambi said he no longer felt lost after working with the Yankees' hitting coach, Don Mattingly, which is why he didn't want to get sent down.
"I wanted to work a few things out," Giambi said. "There's definitely progress."
Yeah, there's progress, it's just too bad it has nothing to do with your career you baby of a meathead mother. Question of the day: Should Giambi be forced to give back his 2002 Home Run Derby trophy to the MLB since he was probably juiced up during that competition? ...Should he be able to keep it and have to take more abuse from the Yankee's bullpen and the unforgiving fans? Or....Should he have to drive it to Sammy Sosa's house and then make a special trip to the Century 21 winner and tell them that he cheated to get them that nice new house they live in? Any one of these would do justice and make me happy. I've always hated much that his name dosen't even deserve to be capitalized. The only Yank I hated more was Scott "arsenio ass" Broscous. Enough about that tho.

Still a bitch... and always a bitch. From what I hear Barry plans to try to slip his way into retirement by using the good 'ol bum knee excuse. I just think that he wants to sit home and show his kids how to cheat at all the reindeer games. Sorry, Barry...actually...nah, fuck you. Go eat a cockskin sammich.

The new Star Wars Movie hit theaters this week and wouldn't you know it... a few copies have been circulating on the internet already. I guess they didn't check those stormtroopers helmets for micro cams and mini mics. I believe that this will only hype the film more because who wants to sit home watching a bootnik copy of the new Star Wars movie. The whole point of the film is based on a new story with new characters and special effects, and the only special effects you get in a bootleg is assholes getting up every five minutes to get soda and popcorn or when the battery on the persons camcorder is going low. Now we all know that dat ain't fun. Pay the money and stop searching for the shit on the net you cyberwhorez.
Enough of this shit...


---wanna see some more fuckin rich retards cars. go to

Wednesday, May 11, 2005


Common - B.E.
Record Label: Geffen RecordsFeatured Artists: Kanye West, John Mayer, John Legend, The Last Poets, Bilal, Production by J Dilla
Article by: Premiere
While the mainstream rap media may finally be catching up to the genius that is Common Sense, anyone's who kept their ears even slightly close to the fringes of hip-hop knows all about the man behind Ressurection, Like Water For Chocolate, and Electric Circus. Circus, his most recent work, is moreso infamous than legendary though, due to it's complete abandonment of everything that made Common Sense a household name among all those who wore beanies and Pumas through the 90's; inspired by names like Hendrix and Prince instead of ones like Rakim and Big Daddy Kane left Common a backlash that was unheard of, as many of his longtime fans hoped he would return to his roots of raw hip-hop. Because Common, unlike fellow "concious rap" peer Mos Def, cares deeply about his fans' feelings for his records, he quickly annouced he would follow Circus up with a return to what made him semi-famous in his sixth sudio album, B.E.
To be sure B.E was exactly what his fans wanted, Common connected with fellow Chicagoan and current superstar Kanye West to helm his album; West even produced every track outside of two, both of which were handled by Common's old friend and compatriot J Dilla (who has produced the majority of his last two albums). "The Corner" and "The Food" were obvious choices to get back in touch with an underground that barely exists as he once knew it; too bad these were both misguided attempts that sound like bad rehashes of past Kanye productions (however, the version of "The Food" performed on the uber-popular "Chappelle's Show" is far superior to this version). Luckliy, Common is not off-track very long, as the title track sounds as powerful as anything Common has ever done, and its jazzy bass intro is the best start of any album this year. "Go" is perfect single material, containing healthy substance for the mind while still being as edible to the masses as any other Com song. He even tackles relationships in "Faithful" and "Testify" in a way he hadn't since the days in which he recorded songs with Lauryn Hill and D'Angelo. Unfortunately, this amazing beginning soon gives way into musical blandness, a charge Kanye West has been accused of before. Thankfully, Com is at the top of his game even with tired production, as songs like "They Say" and "It's Your World/ Pop's Reprise" sound genuinely fresh, even with beats which cannot be described the same way. Whether his producers followed up on his promise, Common certainly delivers a product made specifically for his fans. Luckily, it is also his most accesible, possibly making Common this year's Kanye West.
While Kanye may get trashed for not living up to the standards of NO I.D. or Dilla himself, he still provides enough strong tracks to Com that he can make what may be this year's best hip-hop album so far. Yes, it still has some of the faults of many "concious" albums (such as production that gets mired in the soul it's supposed to be stirring); however, Common also avoids the heavy handed preaching he's practiced before. If it catches on, maybe this album will have been made for more than just his fans.
The album has recently leaked thru the internet and I managed to get myself a press copy. I like this album a little more than the Electric Circus because it is more hip hop based and not as experimental. I think that Kanye did a pretty good job on the production, but you know that he is saving all the real gems for Rocafella artists and his new album Late Registration which is due out later this year. I met Common for a brief moment last year and got my circus album signed. He seemed like a very humble individual who really cares what his fans think. It was chance that I got to shake his hand because I was only down in NYC for one day, which happened to be the day he was doing an instore. I'm glad that I met him though, but I wish I had brought more business cards with me. Here's a tracklisting with a few comments on each track.
1. Be -nice for an intro to the album, well balanced.
2. The Corners -dope beat, same old Kanye drums, but hot sample w/ content.
3. Go -could've done without John Mayer..he's a homo, talented, but homo.
4. Faithful -a dope neo soul classic r-n-b-u-d-d-a-z...jus so smooth. features John Legend.
5. Testify -the verse is serious but the sample gets repetitive, Kanye stick to the norm. simple.
6. Love Is -a perfect one dedicated to the ladies shakin that ass on da low in a hotel room.
7. Chi City -the drum pattern is hot, but those drums have been recycled more than toliet paper.
8. The Food -the classic from the Dave Chappelle show.
9. Real People -this one goes back to the jazz era of sound, lyrics are deep.
10. They Say -this is one of the more dope tracks off the album, John Legend on the '73 rhodes.
11. It's Your World (Pop's Reprise) -this track that should've made the Electric Circus album.
I guess that these artists are really trying to make albums like the early 90's...only 11 tracks. Remember, less is more but only in the case of a google search. Albums these days are way more track than that, people want more for thier bandwidth. I'd be surprised if this album even breaks a million copies the first month. The only way that will happen is if it is on TRL and BET constantly with Kanye in every video.
----------THE FRESHEST OF FRESH-----------

This TML Breakers family photo, circa 1983. If you look closley you can see me in the middle sporting the bucket and glasses. Original photo ourtesy of Jamel Shabazz. There is a great article on the history of the ghetto blaster that will make you remember when you first broke those shelltoes out of the box. Read it, Enjoy it, Reminisce.

"I can't live without my radio!!!!!" ---LL Cool J

Milton Bradley has agreed to re-release one of it's hottest selling board games from the early 80's. YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!! LINE-O-COKE!!!! The games come complete with 8 mirrors, 16 razor blades, 1 box of tissues, 6 nose corks, 1 step by step guide on how to find a cokewhore manual, and last but not least a geek squad tee shirt with a some randomgirl snail trail on it. Cocaine, Baking Powder, Soap Shavings, and Police Scanner sold seperately.

Lindsay's Phone...

Think twice the next time you try to play a player... or act funny toward his best friend for that matter. snoogins...another blone busted by the dumbfounders.

Saturday, May 07, 2005


Summer is coming and the clothes are coming off. Tons of women are out on shopping sprees as we speak getting ready for the hot days and humid nights. From skirts, to chunk shoes, to spaghetti straps, these chicks mean business. I remember back when I was first going to college I would make sure that the first nice weekend all the boyz came up to go out and play. This is because all the girls on campus used to invite all thier friends up that weekend so that they could swap clothes and go out to the bars. They all would get dolled up and go out to tease until they were drunk enough to go home with you. Just to let you in on a little something...they don't dress for us guys, they are dressing to outdo each other. Women are very competitive you know, why else would they only want the guys that are taken. I know from experience that you get more looks and winks from girls when you are with a beautiful girl than when you are walking around alone. This proves my hypothesis about the attention of women. Do the knowledge and pay attention the next time you go out with a dazzling dame on your arm. This is what happens during asshole hour.

"Go shorty, It ain't your birthday, but you got tits, I like 'em anyway"

The Perfect Soldier:

I think that if we sent more of these guys into battle we would lose less and less troops. Cute little guy isn't he? Don't let him fool you, he has the temper of of Mike Tyson after a date rape gone wrong. I always wondered what the gopher from the Caddyshack movies was doing now. If we are lucky he'll be one of the unannounced names for season 6 of The Surreal Life.
Jail House Rock...

Elvis the movie is soon to hit the airwaves and I can't wait to bash the shit out of it. My dad is a huge fan of Elvis and the music he helped create, not to mention he used to hit up Soundtrax in Crossgates Mall in early '86 to sing Elvis songs and record them. It seemed like every fuckin day this guy would come home with a new tape that he recorded trying to impersonate that pill popping fucker. Anyway, I do respect Elvis for the things he did for music and the story behind him. Really, if you don't know a thing about his life you may wanna see it when it drops or on an encore. He pushed the limits with his gyrations and made rock n roll a household name. He also recorded at one of the earliest recording studios in America. By the way, the picture above is of the only mafia connected elvis known by police. They call him Elvis "cluchnuts" Presleiano. His fee for parties is negotiable depending on if you will let him wear that tight Eddie Griswold suit he has on in this photo.

After all the madness of working on the Gone But Not Forgotten discs, Smog's LP, and a few other projects that I can't say too much about. I will be embarking on a solo mission taking it back to when hip hop was real and people got snuffed and shot for thier kicks. Back when real wiggas used to rock LA Raider Starter jackets with 30 sets of lace locks connected to the hood strings. I'm speaking about the time when I first fell in love with the music and style that went along with it. That's all that I can leak right now, but the above picture can be used as a hint.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005


Due to the extreme amount of Yankee's fans moaning and complaining, I must apoligize for the scoreboard post. I figured that the best time to kick a Yankee fan is when they are down. Like the guy above. Sorry guys, I didn't mean to be blunt, or rude, I just wanted something to laugh at when smogging the blunt being rude.
On the other hand, my squad can keep a good record to save thier life. The best thing to happen to them since beating the Yank's is me writing about them in this blog. You can send the checks and the free throwback jerseys through paypal, guys. Remember tho, "Eveybody hates Jack Byrne, Jack Byrne!!!!"

Here's a beautiful shot of Jacob's Field. Someday I will visit it soon and attend a game. If I'm lucky it may be against the Yank's and we will give them some competition. They are a great franchise to watch after all. Especially when they have some trouble against my team.

Sorry again guys, this is the last time, I promise. I'm just mad that the Indians will probably not make the championships again. Fuckers' are in second to last place. BOoooooooooooooooooOOOOOoooooooo!!!!!!

"Gone But Not Forgotten" UPDATE:
I worked on the finishing touches of this disc all day yesterday and will be mixing it down shortly. The second disc hasn't even been started yet... you think that it will be ready by the end of this month????? As long as I minimize my interruptions during these next few weeks I will have both discs for sale on the release date. Mixtapes rarely ever get pushed back and I don't wanna be the first to do it. Although, it could create more hype for me and the camp, I'm trying to make this dough. Tee's are also on schedule to be released with the double disc. I will update you yutes later in the month.

Will the turntables of tommorrow replace the standard of today?????
There is no doubt that the cd/mp3 revolution is slowly taking over in pop culture. With music being so easy to get a hold of nowadayz it a wonder if artists will continue to put out records and singles. I still will hit the record store (never music shack, fucking ripoff addicts) from time to time and spend about $100 or so on some instrumentals or acapella records. The regular albums are too easy to get a hold of off the computer to waste money on them. OK, OK, if the album is a classic, meeting all my standards to qualify as a classic, I will usually buy it. It has to be able to be played from the beginning to the end without skipping songs. That's just one of the standards. So this means that there are no songs on the record that are "played out". These DJ's now think that because they have three booklets of burned cds and the hottest new cd turntable, that this makes them a DJ. WAKE UP FUCKFACES!!!!!! You are all gay ass meatheads and all suck Griswold dick. It's ok to use these CD tables from time to time, for hooks, etc...but to claim that you are real DJ. Gimme a break buddy, before I give you a break... to your friggin' head, you imposter of impotence.
Since vinyl is making a comeback certain companies and labels are embracing this buy putting out limited edition material. Stones Throw Records has released a slur of 7inch and 45's that are gaining popularity overseas and in the states. The retro boom is large, so large in fact that people are even going to great lengths to find old jukeboxes and fill them with old 45's. Also, underground hip hop labels are making it almost a commidity to release at least one piece of rare wax. This will ensure that thier label will be talked about many many years from now. So to answer the question above, NO, these turntables will not. CD's will never have the sound quality of vinyl because of compression and other problems with converting the medium of music. Plus, CDs will never be able to be mixed the same way vinyl is. It sounds cheap and doesn't pick up all the sound it should, not to mention there's nothing like catching an acapella on vinyl. My advice is to get you vinyl collection going, but only with classics. These will be worth a ton if they are in mint condition. Keep dem sleeves boner.

Sorry mate, buta who is dis fat woman we 'bout to blast????

Star (dubchin) Jones...The fat hoe we all love to hate.
After she gets a perm, the whipped cream has officially been put on top of the dogshit sundae.
------------------EYE CANDY----------------- --O-o--

She still looks real dope for being as old as she is. Would you still tap dat?