Saturday, May 07, 2005
PIMPHERNATIONAL
Summer is coming and the clothes are coming off. Tons of women are out on shopping sprees as we speak getting ready for the hot days and humid nights. From skirts, to chunk shoes, to spaghetti straps, these chicks mean business. I remember back when I was first going to college I would make sure that the first nice weekend all the boyz came up to go out and play. This is because all the girls on campus used to invite all thier friends up that weekend so that they could swap clothes and go out to the bars. They all would get dolled up and go out to tease until they were drunk enough to go home with you. Just to let you in on a little something...they don't dress for us guys, they are dressing to outdo each other. Women are very competitive you know, why else would they only want the guys that are taken. I know from experience that you get more looks and winks from girls when you are with a beautiful girl than when you are walking around alone. This proves my hypothesis about the attention of women. Do the knowledge and pay attention the next time you go out with a dazzling dame on your arm. This is what happens during asshole hour.
"Go shorty, It ain't your birthday, but you got tits, I like 'em anyway"
The Perfect Soldier:
I think that if we sent more of these guys into battle we would lose less and less troops. Cute little guy isn't he? Don't let him fool you, he has the temper of of Mike Tyson after a date rape gone wrong. I always wondered what the gopher from the Caddyshack movies was doing now. If we are lucky he'll be one of the unannounced names for season 6 of The Surreal Life.
Jail House Rock...
Elvis the movie is soon to hit the airwaves and I can't wait to bash the shit out of it. My dad is a huge fan of Elvis and the music he helped create, not to mention he used to hit up Soundtrax in Crossgates Mall in early '86 to sing Elvis songs and record them. It seemed like every fuckin day this guy would come home with a new tape that he recorded trying to impersonate that pill popping fucker. Anyway, I do respect Elvis for the things he did for music and the story behind him. Really, if you don't know a thing about his life you may wanna see it when it drops or on an encore. He pushed the limits with his gyrations and made rock n roll a household name. He also recorded at one of the earliest recording studios in America. By the way, the picture above is of the only mafia connected elvis known by police. They call him Elvis "cluchnuts" Presleiano. His fee for parties is negotiable depending on if you will let him wear that tight Eddie Griswold suit he has on in this photo.
After all the madness of working on the Gone But Not Forgotten discs, Smog's LP, and a few other projects that I can't say too much about. I will be embarking on a solo mission taking it back to when hip hop was real and people got snuffed and shot for thier kicks. Back when real wiggas used to rock LA Raider Starter jackets with 30 sets of lace locks connected to the hood strings. I'm speaking about the time when I first fell in love with the music and style that went along with it. That's all that I can leak right now, but the above picture can be used as a hint.