Sunday, January 30, 2011



Here's cornyay getting bombarded with questions about his sexuality after his debut parody on South Park. I actually was looking for a video of him getting blasted with a snowball but couldn't find one. Now you all know what's on my bucketlist. Don't think I wouldn't do it. If he didn't have so many bodyguards around him, I'd wipe my own shit on his face and punch him in it.


I found this video in my travels recently and saved it for this post. Classic material.
Shout out to @SalaamRemi on the track.


This was taken from Mr. Len's 2001 release  Pity The Fool. I can't tell you how many times I played this cd back then. It was pure underground with a ton of versatility. This was one of  Jean Grae's best verses to date. She stays on twitter all day so if you want hit her up @JeanGreasy she may even hit you back. I wouldn't hold your breath though. She's kinda a dick.

RARE BUD LIGHT COMMERCIALS (that never made it)
My brother showed me this and we couldn't stop laughing at it, so as any good friend would do, I figured I'd share it with all of you. I also found a few more you'll enjoy.

"In The Can"

"Swear Jar"

"Tongue and Cheek"

I can understand why they didn't air because some of these just push the limits a little to far. Then again, how about The Fockers. No one seemed to have a problem with them. It's really funny though, If I name one of my tracks "Fuck You", I'm considered too underground and vulgar, but if that fat fuck Cee Lo Green does it, he goes platinum.I'll never understand it. Fuck the media, everyone's a critic. As long as it good enough for you that's all that matters. At the end of the day you're the only one looking at yourself in the mirror. If I could do it all over again and be less of a hater....I wouldn't change one thing. Don't conform to the norm or you'll be just as lame as the rest of them. Thanks for checking in. Exclusive new music next post.
More to come in a few.

I always wonder what "Raheem" from the movie Juice was doing now.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011


Be sure to check out J-Live, DJ Trumastr, Lofi Lobo, and the rest of the gang at the 3rd annual Beatshot Music Tribute to one of the greatest producers that ever touched a sampler. Beatdown Collective's own Papa Nucc will be playing live behind J-live with other special guests. I woudn't say I'm special, but I may have to actually show up to this one. I'll be playing A Tribe Called Quest's "The Love Movement" instrumentals on my way down in the whip. See you there.




Heavy Metal Kings.
The new album featuring two of the most followed underground artists of our time is due out April 5th. Be sure to check it, The album will feature production from Ill Bill himself, Gemcrates (a DJ Premier protege), DJ Muggs and upstate's own Jack of All Trades. I recently spoke with Ill Bill via twitter and he said that there will be more to come in the near future from the two. Check out the official site: HMK
Here is the first leak off the album produced by C-Lance
Download the Leak


Michael Rapaport just debuted his highly anticipated documentary Beats, Rhymes, Life based on A Tribe Called Quest yesterday at The Sundance film festival. Two years in the making, it features rare an unreleased footage and images of one of hip hops most influential groups. I still remember jamming out to The Low End Theory at the age of 14 riding the bus to school. Back when it was tapes and Sony Sports walkmans., We used to have guys open them up and increase the volume so we could get some more "umph" for our buck. People were airbrushing jeans and CDs were for the rich being the newest audio medium to hit the streets. Before people were buying touchscreen IPODs and Beats by Dre headphones for $200 a pop, there was Radio Shack/ Realistic Nova Headphones for $40 and you were chillin if you had auto reverse. That was when if you were lucky, the tapes you were listening to had a great songs all the way through. If not, you'd flip the tape, fast forward a bit and get to another song you liked rather than wait for it to come all the way around again. Do I dare say that those were the days....nah, like Fatboy Slim..."We've come a long way, baby."
From what I hear the film was well received, and The Roots tore it down later that night at Harry O's.
Here's a clip.



As you all should know by now I am a dedicated sneakerhead. My closet is overflowing with boxes, laces, and unworn freshness. Even though I am unemployed I still manage to get my hands on the joints I want. Sometimes I trade, most of the time I buy. The one gripe I have with The Jordan Brand is that I will never understand why they won't just leave good enough alone. Take this Jordan V for instance. One of the greatest sneakers ever made in my opinion. I have these in 10 different colors. That being said remember the sneaker collectors rule of thumb: One to stock, One to rock. Tinker Hatfield was a genius in his own mind, not to mention the minds of all sneakerfreakers across the planet. He had a hand in designing all the Jordans up to the 13. Anything after that is pure shit, for real. When a company like Nike/Jordan knows that the demand is high for certain colorways and numbers, why not keep doing what you do and make money money. Instead they've come up with a perfectly good way to ruin their company/brand. Ever since the invention of the mashup sneaker I've been appalled by the idea of sneakers in general. They mixed a few with the Air Force 1, which I refuse to own. I have over 70 pairs and not one of them is the Air Force 1. Don't believe me, look at my feet every time you see me and make a mental note of what I'm rocking. Nothing against, Jay-Z, Fuck Nelly though, but why is everyone obsessed with this sneaker? It's uncomfortable, ugly, and skuffs the first time you drag your feet or step on a flea. I'll never understand it. Another thing I'll never get is the creation of one of the most ugly sneakers in the world. The Spizike' named after Spike Lee and MARS Blackman, it is a mash up of like 6 different pairs of Air Jordans in one design. In my eyes this was a complete waste of time. Sneakerfiends worldwide, including myself used to wait on the next style to drop, now we all could care less. I'm sure they are seeing it, being that the economy is bad, and you can find these at Marshalls a week after they come out. I'm speaking for everyone when I say FUCK THE MASHUP!!!! One thing I am glad about though, if they were coming out with good shit, i'd be bummed because I can't buy the way I used to. These V's will be the only pair I buy this year and if you want to see more of how Nike is continuing to suck ass, just look at their release list for 2011. HERE

Curtis Wackson

Our good friend 50 cent recently won a 2 year legal battle with the site World Star Hip Hop over unlicensed images and had the site shut down. Good luck with this one duke. Two years is a long time.

Cripple Cake Drake

Rollin on dubs. Heartfake Flake should be his real name.

That's all for now fam, I'm about to get into smashing Jack Daniels and making the toughest beats you will never hear.
One more question....
Is anyone fucking with United Crates this year?

Wednesday, January 19, 2011


Hey wiggas and wiggets... since I haven't given you any new music in a while I figured I'd bless you with some of the new gems coming out of upstate New York. As you can see this is a picture of just some of the wax I'm sitting on, and why I can actually live up to my name. This and the recent break CDs I have been putting out. Remember, this is only one angle and 2 shelves in my vinyl lounge. The room is just as big in the other direction and that is only 1/8 of the records I am sitting on. In no way am I bragging, I just want a few of you who don't know me as well to know that I LIVE THIS SHIT. I've been collecting  records since I was a young lad and love it to death. There's always something new to discover and I couldn't imagine being something that I'm not. I've been glued to the turntables since '92 and don't see myself stopping anytime soon. The dream is alive and well and there will always be more great ideas and music to come. Here's just a few new joints I've been working on in the recent months.

GM-Neutrons Rush Remix feat. The Vinylcologist (prod. By Junko)
A little tid bit about this was recorded a while ago and I actually threw it out originally, but found the verse backed up on a flash drive and hooked it up. The original song featured Pleatherface and if both of our verses were on here along with GM's the song would exceed 5min. That's the only reason his verse was taken off. Trust me, I don't need to step on any toes to promote myself or earn stripes. I just liked this track and wanted to jump on it too. So don't get it twisted. I hooked up the cuts on this as well.

The Vinylcologist-Armond Joy Instrumental (prod. by your truly)
This sample was actually used by J-Live for Satisfied off his 'All Of The Above'  LP. I found the sample and put my own spin on it. Just another dope beat that is sitting around collecting dust. A wonderful reggae break that need to be flipped again.

The Vinylcologist-Breaked Beatdown Instrumental (guess who)

This was a one shot sample I was going to drop a freestyle over, but decided to pass on it. It just isn't my style, but it does have an old school vibe to it. Another beat I found in the pile just sitting around. Figured I'd share the shit. If this isn't '91esk, I don't know what is. I even left some static open at the end for you producers that are too digital and need some grit in your life.

Here's some other dope joints coming out of Upstate. These are posted in the order that they dropped starting with the newest first. If you don't knoooow, you should know, wigga.  -Wiggie

Big Malk and Jack Of All Trades-Mighty Ones-2011-DGM

JOAT actually gave me the scoop on this one. He said this was recorded some time ago and didn't expect this to be on the EP him and Malk plan to put out. Apparently it will consist of something like 10 or 11 tracks and be released sometime soon. For more info on releases check out Big Malk's World.
Download Mighty Ones

Melvin Junko and Dr. Khil-The Secret EP-2011-GCE

Here's a dope EP that Junko and Khil put together. I chopped up the cuts on Greenery and Flow Zombies. Overall a dope release and a great addition to your collection of music from Glass Ceiling Effect. Check out more from these guys at the GCE blog.
Download The Secret EP

Khil and Sime Gezus-An Obituary-EP-2010-GCE

Here's another joint from the GCE camp. Dr. Khil has been making some serious heat as of late and if you are sleeping that's your bad. One of my personal favorites was GM's Black Hoodie Rap. These guys continue to impress knocking out release after release. This is a nice sampling of beats from Khil and verses from Sime Gezus.
Download An Orbituary

I am confident that you will enjoy all these releases, and if you don't...then I don't know what to tell you other than, good luck trying to find a better source for free, dopeass independent music.

Here's a bunch of things that piss me off on a day to day basis and I'm sure everyone can relate to these.

-Why is it that when you want a red light you never get one, but when you have to take a shit or you're running late, you catch every last one?

-Why is it that you can be doing nothing all day long and the minute you have something to do, someone bothers you to do something for them?

-Isn't it funny that you can be chillin' all day and no one calls, but when you get a phone call, three other people call you all at the same time.

-I hate when I'm at the grocery store or any store for that matter and finally go up to pay for my items, why does everyone go up at the same time to pay for theirs? Fuckin odd.

-How come when you are bored as fuck no one calls you to do anything, the second you make plans you get more calls than ever to do shit that you would actually enjoy?

-Why is it that when you have a girlfriend or wife more women want you than ever before?

-Why is it that the minute you put on a new pair of kicks, you somehow manage to step in the only pile of dog shit within a one mile radius.

-Why is it that when I'm out at a bar and have to piss there are ten people in line ahead of me.

-How come the one thing that I couldn't live without always manages to break, when I need it the most.

-I can't count how many times I've been sitting at a light and I see that there is no line for the drive thru, but when it finally turns green 4 cars manage to weasel their way in front of me.

Ok, that's all I can think of right now and i know you have some of your own. When I think of some more I will continue this in a later post. Always check back on the reg, even a few days back, as I will continually update my posts. Plenty of surprises to come.


Monday, January 17, 2011


I just wanna give a big blogger shout out to my brother.
Happy Birthday homie. We built you this cake. You know, like Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite.
Take a few sips for me, and a few more for the Smogman who is due out of the joint on Feb 14th. Thank God. 2011 is gonna be a good year for bashing these tight jean douchbags with that real underground butter.

Cheers my man. Fuck the Sizzurp, 40's and Blunts all day ninja.


My homie Davey West Side put me up on this shit and it's local. This was recorded at Northern Lights last year about this time. The best part about it though is that it is all true. I'm just glad to know that I'm not the only one hating on these fuckin' fools that think their shit don't stink (pun intended). Listen to the dude screaming Lil' Wayne and tell me that Redman isn't still the gulliest muthafucka you know. This show was crazy I heard and the next time they come, you better believe I'm jumping on that guest list.
Good looks D.
 I also have some inside info on a few new Wu releases that are currently on the table. Raekwon's new album Shaolin Vs. Wu-Tang is finished and ready for release. He just released the official tracklisting via the twitbox.
Check it out:

1. Shaolin Vs. Wu-Tang
2. Every Soldier In The Hood (feat. Method Man)
3. Silver Rings (feat. Ghostface Killah)
4. Ferryboat Killaz
5. The Scroll
6. Masters Of Our Fate (feat. Black Thought)
7. Rich And Black (feat. Nas)
8. Butter Knives [Prod. by Bronze Nazareth]
9. Crane Style (feat. Busta Rhymes)
10. Chop Chop Ninja (feat. Inspectah Deck & Estelle)
11. From The Hills (feat. Method Man & Raheem DeVaughn)
12. Last Train To Scotland (feat. Lloyd Banks)
13. Rock N Roll (feat. Jim Jones, Ghostface Killah, & Kobe)
14. Molasses (feat. Rick Ross & Ghostface Killah)
15. Dart School
16. Snake Pond
17. Wu Chant (Outro)
I heard a few snippets of this and was really impressed. Rae has yet to let me down. His Vatican Mixtape Series and Cocainism Vol. 1 and 2 are also a must have for any Raekwon follower. Get them If you haven't already, you'll be glad you did. Here's the first leak off that album. Produced by Scram Jones, this shit is pure HEAT! Download it if you like by clicking the down arrow on the Soundcloud player.

Gza is said to be working on Liquid Swords 2, which will be entirely produced by The Rza. As soon as I get a leak off that you better believe it will be posted.
The final project that I am patiently waiting on is called  Wu Block and is a collaboration between two of my favorite emcees, Ghostface and Styles P. This is going to be crazy when it drops. No word on production credits yet, but you know as well as I do these guys never rock over trash beats.

Time To Build
Recently I've been obsessed with vintage gear and anything old that has to do with music. I currently own a Wurlitzer 200B that is absent on leave getting repaired and my dad just gave me and old light box from the 70's that he used to use playing gigs. It works off the vibration from the audio and lights up different colors based on how hard the vibrations are.. That shit is dope and so is this.
Beem is Electronic Music Producer Skweee from Stockholm, Sweden. Beem has created these absolutely amazing Lego creations inspired by vintage synthesizers, drum machines and recording equipment. When I saw these, the synth geek inside me totally freaked out. Not too mention that I've always had an obsession with legos. I heard that these are being used as a series of covers for a new album he has coming out.

A Fender Rhodes 12 and a Revox B77:

Linn 9000 Drum Machine patched into a Revox B77 sitting beside a Roland SH1000:

This one is a Juno 2 with the alpha dialwith patch cords, 
a Roland SH1000, a Mac SE and a Revox B77:

This image is an Arp Odyssey beside a Linn 9000 drum machine.

And finally this one is a Roland SH1000, a Linn 9000 Drum Machine and a uniquely semimodular Prophet 5 

I recently got a Roland SH1000 from a friend that I know that fixes just about anything. He just fixed my Budwiser True Music Neon sign and brought it back to 100% working order. Papa Nucc is currently using the SH1000 for shows and for some stuff on his new album. Go check him at a show and see what all the hype is about. I know he has a show with J-Live coming up and I'll keep you posted on that as soon as I get the flyer.


Magic beat the HIV and LeBron enjoys being hated by everyone in Cleveland.
Till the next post. Stay Cheezin.

Sunday, January 16, 2011


(Black Cat Edition)
I have to send a special Thank You to my man Fatrock for hooking me up with these the last time he came up. It was so unexpected. I knew that he didn't like black kicks and remembered that he had these in his collection. So I told him to toss them my way, never thinking that it would happen. It's good to have friends that take care of each other. Before I even knew he had brought them, I tossed him a pair of Adidas Originals sunglasses that made him look like Paul Castellano. He brought these in and handed them to me and said "thanks for helping me and hooking me up with music everytime I come up." Free of charge. I just hope he remembers this blog post when he is ready to get rid of those Olympic 9's he is sitting on. Either way, these are gonna look dope when I drop some grey laces in them and throw on the crazy classic Compton Oakland Raiders hat.


I was one of the first cats to post the "Bed Intruder Song" on my blog,(go wan ahead and check if you don't believe me) before it became a crazy viral video. Now I bring you the dope ass Aggies rendition. There is also a live version they did live on TV and the chicks they got dancing definitely got ass. This one has way better sound quality.


Last night I performed for the Northern Lights Holiday Party and came upon a record that still today is one of my favorite songs to date. My man Extract who used to run the RPM dept. at SUNY Oneonta put me up on this group before they became popular worldwide.
The Avalanches are an electronic music group from Melbourne, Australia, best known for their live DJ sets and debut album Since I Left You, which was assembled from approximately 3500 vinyl samples.
 The Avalanches began in 1994 as Alarm 115, a noise-punk outfit inspired by The Animals of Steel, Drive Like Jehu, The Fall, and Ultra Bidet. The band (Darren Seltmann, Robbie Chater, Tony Diblasi and Manabu Etoh) bought all their instruments at junk shops, where they also discovered piles of old records. When Etoh was deported and Alarm 115 ended, those records became the core of a new project. They officially became The Avalanches at their fifth gig - a support slot for Jon Spencer Blues Explosion - and rose to prominence quickly. The Avalanches' profile grew with support slots on tours by the Beastie Boys, Public Enemy, Stereolab and Beck. The band also played at the Tibetan Freedom Concert at Homebush, Sydney. James De La Cruz was added to the live lineup on turntables and keyboards, and made his debut with the band at The Palace, St Kilda, supporting Public Enemy.
Modular released the Electricity EP in Australia (12") and the UK (7"), while work continued on an album, under the working title Pablo's Cruise In February 2000 the band finished mixing the album at Sing Sing studios, Melbourne. By July, with the album, now titled Since I Left You, overdue, Chater's Gimix cassette was made available. It is a mixtape blending previews of the forthcoming album with some of the band's favourite songs. The initial album launch date on 11 September was delayed, with the record hanging in limbo due to sample clearance and overseas interest. An early 2001 worldwide release was hoped for, although a 27 November Australian release was confirmed a few weeks later. The first Australian single, "Frontier Psychiatrist", was released in August. It reached #6 in Triple J's 2001 Hottest 100 countdown, the world's largest annual radio music poll. In October 2000 the band undertook their first Australian headline tour, hitting all capital cities.
 Grab the song that made them famous. There is also a crazy video that dropped along with the limited edition promo I got in college. Another fun fact that not many people know about this record is that it is the ONLY group that Madonna has ever cleared a sample for. Oh, and don't even think about jacking this, I've already stole the horns and have two songs completed that will be dropping in a week. Don't be a biter, and don't be lazy, be original.

Stay tuned to @UNITEDCRATES and the blog to find out whats shakin....

#Now Playing 07-The_Vinylcologist-The_Fleetwood_Mack-UC


Thursday, January 13, 2011


I've been obsessed with Wheel Of Fortune lately and saw someone absolutely blow it the other night and lose like 16K to the bankrupt wedge. If that happened to me I'd surely lose it on live TV. The girl clearly could have solved the puzzle, but she decided to be greedy. It got me many other people are this dumb, and I wondered if Vanna had ever taken a spill wearing those long dresses. I came across this and couldn't stop laughing. I just love how Pat starts running out of things to say to lessen the blow. Classic.


In my estimation, there are four stages to the process of watching the film. The first is Interest. You’re watching a film about street art, something most of us know little about. The second is Envy. Not only does the film’s main subject, Thierry Guetta, get to live in this world but he gets to meet Banksy, the eventual director, who just happens to be the most illusive and famous man in this niche of art. The third is Amazement. When the film flips on its head and everything you’ve learned comes into question, you’ll be blown away. And the final stage is Disbelief. After finishing the film and knowing a little about it, you second guess whether or not Banksy has pulled a fast one on us. Is Thierry Guetta, aka Mr. Brainwash, for real? Or is he just the latest piece of art created by Banksy? If you haven't been up on this, do the knowledge. "who ever thought hip-hop would take it this far"  

Read More on Banksy 


I just recently linked with Yak and he helped me out so I figured I'd return the favor. I can still remember drinking a bottle of Hennessy and spinning records in his suite while we pre gamed for 'The Dirty Show', which was my radio show at college. Those were the days. He had just released his single 'The Reign', The Weathermen just dropped a dope single and he was working on his debut album "My Claim", which was an underground classic in my opinion. I still bust it out now and then. Mondee was definitely on his job. If you want more info on Yak go grab some merch and free downloads at
If you really wanna dig something up try to find this shit....Suge_White-Where_My_Dogs_At??-2000-MHZ  
Some rare gems on there.

 Wanna Battle?

Ok we have to get some things straight. I'm a blogger, I guess, or a hater if that what you want to call me. Hey, whatever melts your fuckin' butter. America is a "free" country and I'm entitled to my OWN opinion. My opinion on Oprah is simple. She is a fraud that has pulled the wool over her fans and followers eyes for years. Besides being one of the richest, most influential people in America, she is a victim of her own fame. I don't like the fact that she can put something on a list and then the shit starts flying off the shelves that day. I also don't like the fact that she gives away free cars, TV's and other expensive items at Christmas time. I guess her idea of a good Christmas is new vehicles, electronics, and all sorts of other unreleased shit given to specific people that SHE sees fit to receive it. That's what Christmas is all about like the 'buy these shoes song'  that brings my wife to tears everytime she hears it. How must the people feel that are watching this. Way to go asshole, let's try to promote the real meaning of Christmas. People are losing their houses to foreclosure, their kids to suicide, their jobs to the a failing economy, and every week someone is going ballistic opening fire and taking people hostage because of the hard times at hand. I'm not in any way saying that she is to blame, but shit like that does have an effect on everyone. It's the struggling single mother with three kids to feed that just had to have the overpriced handbag she saw on Oprah's favorite things. Or the guy that blows $40 a week on lottery trying to live the dream. I know because I see these idiots everyday that live beyond their means. They are in front of me, in my way, scratching off lotto tickets when I'm just trying to pay for my gas. Here's what the new lottery slogan should be. Instead of  'hey, ya never know.', how about something more accurate like 'hey, you never win."  Great marketing for a struggling economy. Anyway, her new network OWN (which I'm sure has a deeper meaning) just launched and I'm know that a ton (pun intended) of women and some gay men are overly excited about this. It's really too bad that people look up to someone so highly that can dish out advice on just about anything, but can't practice what she preaches. For as long as I can remember she has been fighting with her weight. I think there might have been a few months, or maybe even a year that she was actually slim. Point being, she should fire her personal trainer and throw her silverware in the trash. It's obvious that he hasn't helped one bit over the years and if I have to go Parez Hiltonesk on her ass I will.
How can she, the woman of all women not be in control of her weight. All of us have struggled at one point, that is unless you have the metabolism of a fucking cheetah, but most of us don't. I can't even recall how many times I've seen her talking all sorts of shit about how to lose weight. She brings in these people and not one time has anyone ever commented on HER weight struggle. It's always on the best way to lose it. I guess no one wants to burn her because she is so powerful that they may never be able to get on TV again. See what money can buy? The best part is that people actually listen and think that she's serious. She's not, she more phony than Jordan's on Ebay and if she wasn't, she'd look a lot more like her friend Gayle King, and a lot less like King Kong in a wig. I have no ties to Oprah or her show, and if she asked me to come on and explain this blog post, I wouldn't for any amount of money. That's how you beat the system. Speak up, Speak out, Be heard. How does the saying go....Money can't buy love.....especially from bloggers. I got one more present for you Oprah, something I'm sure you haven't see in a while.


Monday, January 10, 2011


What's good fellow readers writers. Been a minute since I have blogged and have a few special treats for you. Some dope eye candy for all my graffiti heads, fresh music (as always), and a special photo segment filled with gripes and personal hatred.

Unknown Artist for both. Realistic as hell.


London based artist Banksy keeps the great ideas flowing constantly. Some of his artworks have been said to be worth millions. Vandalism or Creative expression, the question is asked again as another pop artist of our time carves his niche in the art world.

Banksy recently came to Brooklyn NY.

Just plain ill.

Peace Molotov. This would make an ill tattoo. He'd have to be throwing a spray can at police though.

Man I think he put it perfectly. We all hate the meter readers.

ASS OF 2010
Chillin' here with a jip and some JD I was admiring my high school years. It seems we've all lost touch a bit and I couldn't help but to dig up some class photos and an old video that was a favorite of mine.


Drake was all over this year and if I hear his overconfident ass again I'm going to snap and dropkick the fucking stereo. Here's what I sing everytime I hear or see that stupid commercial he's in.
"Last name, ever,
First name, gayest....
Drake never fucked a girl,
because he loves anus,

gettin shoved down your throat,
that's how he became famous,
never be a real rapper,
cause he'll always be the lamest..."
See, anyone can be a rapper....even you.
 Part of why our society is going to shit is because we are riding the dicks of people from Canada and other countries. I remember going to Montreal and being amazed at how much our icon and culture influenced them. Can someone tell me what happened? Michael Buble' is another one...this wannabe Frank and Dean couldn't get a better gimmick. "I wouldn't give the bum a mopjob." Deniro said. Heeeeeey, here's a great idea, why not try to be original again. Yeah, you know, like we used to be back in the day. We went from being builders and suppliers of the world to consumers looking for the cheapest, best deal possible, and settling for an industry filled with fake people, corny music and lame movie remakes. We seriously must look like assholes to the rest of the world looking up to some of these flakes on the idiot box. I can't wait for the Back To The Future trilogy to be remade featuring  Betty White as Loranne, Antione Dodson as Mayor Goldie Wilson, and Busta Rhymes as Biff. "oh Biff????!!!" How many historic sitcoms and classic old movies are we going to fucking ruin by remaking them starring Will Smith's kids and Steve Carrel. I'm sorry, but I walked out of the movie Independence Day when I saw Will Smith It didn't take me long to realize that if the world were going to come to an end, the not-so Fresh Prince wasn't gonna be able to do shit to save our sorry asses. To this day I refuse to watch ANY Will Smith movie. That's like Larry David co-starring with Jason Statham in Crank 8. Fuck it. I'll wait for it to hit DVD. Oh shit, but it's only on blu-ray. Guess we all got burned again. You'll see me talking some shit like "I spent a ton of dough on my movie collection, now my kids can't eat, unemployment is expired, and everything went to fucking blu-ray. I must sell it, but I can't wait that long, "IT'S MY MONEY AND I NEED IT NOW!!!" (screaming with a gun to my head)


I started DJing around the time he became an intern at Uptown records. Damn I'm old.


I have no clue what the obsession was with this clown. Lil' Kim has her by a mile.
Not to mention, her music blows in my opinion.

Rick Ross , aka Security Rent-A-COP Officer Rick Ross aka Albert Anastasia, aka let me steal the name of a famous gangster and act like I'm the real one. aka let me act like I'm affiliated with white mobsters by naming all my releases after them.. aka let me steal Suge Knight's look and act like it was mine. aka Jigga made himself look like a horrible A and R  and never should have singed me. aka Please keep ya shirt on.


Keeping up with the Celebretards. Someone give me my own show on the E! network and see if I don't become famous. We can call it 33 and Ignorant.


 I actually took the time to steal his album. Surprising to say the least.
Rager 2 wasn't bad, but it wasn't that good either.


What can I say. In the next day or two he'll say, or do something else that will make him look like the real person that he is. A fuckin' fool. I would love to be his most annoying fan and just follow him around with a radio like John Cusack from Say Anything .  Have it blasting "they should've never gave you niggas money" from Chapple's Show on loop. But I'd probably get people saying that I was a racist. Hey, I guess i could give Michael Richard's a call, I'm sure he isn't doing shit. I wonder if his girl cut her hair off on her own or if cornyay made her do it so that she would look more like the man he always wanted.


Freeeee Weeeeezzzzzy . If these aren't the simplest verses ever written I don't know what is.
I seriously think that if him and the Nutcracker from the Group Home were to battle, that Nut would win it by a landslide. Dudes got young money....from all his days with Master P. He's just everywhere now, his music still sucks and for the record, he can't sing. Well, they said Bob Dylan couldn't sing either.


Katy Perry looks more like a nobody here. I'm sure it was Field Day and you know that there was one of those giant orange coolers somewhere filled with Hi-C Orange Drink. Isn't it amazing what a little money can do to an average girl.


This was the girl that everyone got a BJ from, but no one wanted to have sex with her. She was the 'teamtaker'. Afterschool head was the best.


This is where they must have got the outline for the chunky Nefertiti  medallions back in the 90's. I always at least give try to his shit a listen, but haven't found one song worth playing on any of their horrible n.e.r.d. albums.


Imagine this guy is trying to act hard now like he's been in it from the get-go. Comon-man, You used to rock flip-flop....and your a man....and you sound too much like Eminem to even be signed by his label. I'm still scratching my head wondering what the fuck he was thinking? I wish I sent him my demo. Then again, if he's willing to sign this guy, I'm glad I didn't.


I got love for Beyonce, she's supertalented. If I could ask her anything it would be, "how come when you were with Destiny's Child all your song names were the same word, three time in a row?" ie. no, no no, bills, bills, bills, etc. Probably never to that class on how to name songs.

Meat Drapes

Lady Gaga is becoming a victim of her own fame. She is actually pretty talented and can play piano extremely well. I'm predicting that she will have a long career as a pop icon. That entails buying and reopening Neverland, Keeping herself in seclusion while doing interviews only for OWN Network, and doing a nationwide tour to all the best steakhouses in the US with Guy Fieri.

...and the best for last. I laughed so hard and blew all the tree out of the pipe and almost caught the carpet on fire when I saw this.
Lil' Jon

That one picture looks like that muppet of Robin Harris from way back when.
Lil' Jon was the original Urkel, fuck that.

They Should Be Homeless

It's funny, this song is over 10 years old yet it still describes 99% of the music industry today.


The brand new 'live' recordings of Dilla's Donuts.
I've had these for a bit, but I figured why not be a good guy and share.
Remember where you got it first. 
Only from United Crates.

Check out Toby's new trick.

More shit to come.