Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Whit the days getting hotter and longer I find myself becoming more and more tired and not wanting to work on any music. This is partly because I have a mess of other shit going on and also because my studio gets just too fuckin' hot. Anyway the point of this whole thing is to give you some summer cool down tips if you are in a situation similar to mine.
tip 1: --You could always just wet your tee shirt, ring it out and then put that shit back on again. It may look stupid like a tiedye that didn't work, all wrinkly n shit but it will def cool dat ass.
tip 2: --Another trick is to get yourself a cool ass drink with crushed ice similar to our long time favorite the slush puppie. If you are an alcoholic like myself and need some liquor to spice that darn ding up, you can find various mixers like mudslides, pina coladas, and strawberry daquiris that already have the stoopidjuice inside them. I find that mixing up your own concoctions are much more fun tho. Here are a few of my favorites.
--Absolute Apeach, Arizona Arnold Palmer Half n Half Tea and Ice (blended)= Peachy Keen Palmer
--99 Bananas, Stoli Strasberri, and Fruit Punch Kool Aid, with chunks of Strawberries blended with Ice of course=Jungle Juice
--Bacardi Vanilla, 2 scoops of Vanilla ice cream, and IBC Root Beer unblended=Root Buuur Floater
--Bacardi Black, Cherry Coke, 1 scoop of Vanilla ice cream and 2 marichino cherries blended with ice=Black Cherry Fun Punch
--Kaluha, Milk, Ketel 1, Hangar One, or Grey Goose Vodka, 1 scoop of Coffee ice cream blended with ice=Mullato Russian
Those should get you drunken bastards started, more drinks to come as they are invented.
tip 3: --Stop wearing black tees that go down to your ankles. These attract heat and not to mention look stupid as fuck. Unless you are 6ft someshit, you shouldn't be buying clothing that has a big and tall tag on it. You=XL or XXL...Shaq=XLT. Stop being idiots and buy shit that doesn't look like a fuckin' nightgown. I don't know weither to give you the pound or cook you an egg sandwich. ...and by the way, take that played out size sticker off your hat, I know it won't make it look new anymore, but people won't be able to tell that you dick is as small as it is. Bitchass.
tip 4: --Find a swimming pool. This shit goes back to when we were all in high school, but with a twist. Whatever you prefer, in ground or above ground. I like the ones that have a slide. Scout out a few pools and the wait till everyone hits the sack and then go pool hopping. If you don't wanna wait till nighttime which is understandable since this is suppost to be for the now. The best thing to do is find a graduation party, wedding reception, or just a backyard picnic and crash dat shiieeeeet. Walk right into whatever function it is and make some friends, they will help your plan of action. Try to find people that are just stopping thru. If they happen to ask who you are, just reply "a friend of the family" this is not untrue, you are thier friend, just long enough to use them for thier pool. Make yourself at home grab a beer and a bite to eat and blend in as best possible. Pretty soon the family dog will be eating out of your hand your bellyflopcannonballs will be the life of the party. If the host of the party or bbq questions you, just tell them that you are a friend of whoever you talked to first. By this time that person will have left or will be too buzy with thier own shit to worry about you.
tip 5: --The finally of all tips...If all these other options fail you, just don't get dressed, freeball, freetit, or freeass it all day long. That should do the trick. Oh, and if you are a fat bastard, take your ass to Wal-Mart and get a roll of screen (like you would use for windows) and hook yourself up an outfit, but just make sure that it holds in all those bakery bumps.
..and to think that if this guy gets charged, Hollywood will have a level 3 sex offender on the walk of fame. What a joke. The jury is entering thier 4th day of deliberation and from the looks of it they are pretty well protected by security. If Jacko was smart he would've hired John Cusack to hide in the jury and sway the verdict. During the 2nd day Jackson's father had to deal with a false alarm due to some miscommunication. He raced to the courthouse thinking that the jury had come to a decision, too bad. After three speeding tickets and one sweaty forehead later he realized why he is so concerned for his son. Because he has no fame, it's all from his kids...all 1300 of them. I think that is true what they said about him taking away Jackson's childhood...I mean why else would he have his own Great Escape on the premises.
ON DA MAP
Just recently The Capital Region has taken on a new name... "Cap City". I'm not sure which yokel came up with this corny term, but be sure to hear it a lot more often. All the mediocre DJs on the radio are using it, it's in the night club commercials now, and wannabe thugs are throwing the term around like a b-ball at Washington Park. It will always be Upstate or just plain Albany to me. This is where I live, where I grew into what I am now, and where I will call home even if I did get my own star on the walk of fame. Actually, especially where I will build a big fat house that everyone can see from across the river so that I can laugh at these dicks that all the sudden see potential in this city. I could've chose to go to NYC after college and become some big shot producer that kissed ass and sucked dick to get record deals, but I didn't...I stayed here, home, with all my friends and fellow musicians. I've finished a ton of music that I am extremely proud of and wouldn't change it for the world. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean much to the 10,000,000 people out there buying the garbage that is ringing in there ears because they play it so much, but like Jada "we goin make it". The U.K. knows whats up. Read more here.
At The Movies...
Classic Mob Flicks...if you haven't seen these, you ain't gangsta bitchass.
--The Godfather I, II, III
--A Bronx Tale
--King Of New York
--Once Upon a Time in America
--Married to the Mob
--Analize This / Analize That
--8 Heads in a Duffel Bag
--Bullets Over Broadway
--The Last Don I, II
--The Whole Nine Yards
--State of Grace
enjoy haters...you favorite blog bud is out to hit bud. If you have any questions or comments...