Ok..Ok...now we gotta get serious. It's football season and I know all you tailgaters, college dropouts, and pigskin degenerates need a great chili recipe. I have the solution!! Normally this would be concidered classified information but I feel like being ultra generous today. So here it goes for all you Emeril wannabes that are trying to impress your girls', your girl's fathers and pokerfriends.
Vinyl's Chili
INGREDIENTS:
--1 medium size can of delmonte diced tomatoes $1.29
--2 small cans of delmonte petite cut diced tomatoes $2.00
(one zesty jalapenos flavor, zesty mild n green chilies flavor)
--1 packet of medium chili powder (for hot) or tex mex flavor (for sweet) $1.29
(found near gravy packets and various sauce packets)
--1 bottle of heinz chili sauce $1.39
--1 clove of garlic $.59
--1 small red onion $.75
--1 small vidalia (for sweet) or white onion (whichever is preferred) $.75
--2 long hot peppers $.75
--1 green pepper $.99
--1 red pepper $1.99
--1 cubanelle pepper $.99
--1 habanero pepper $1.49
--1 1.75lb pack of hamburger meat $4.29
--1 can of goya red kidney beans $.79
--1 can of goya cannellini beans (white) $.79
--1 bag of shredded sharp cheddar (about 2 cups) $2.39
TOTAL COST (appx.) $22.53 + tax
note: when cutting the long hots and habaneros, DO NOT RUB YOUR EYES!!!!
Wash hands with soap and water throughly...you may feel the heat on your hands for a day after if you don't wash your fingertips immediately.
I know it seems like a lot, but it will feed about 10 or more, or feed one person for a week. It is great to dip tortilla chips in, or put over hot dogs and burgers. Not to mention figure how much you spend on fast food, and know that this is soooooo much healtier. It breaks down to about $3.20 a day.
note: beans can be substituted with 1 can of corn if you don't feel like blowing out the ass of your gym shorts.
DIRECTIONS: This is kinda hard to fuck up, so if you do you're a fuckin' Corky.
Meat: In a medium skillet, brown meat and add any spices you would like to season with during the browning process. It is important to season the meat as soon as you put it in the pan. This way it sticks to it. Here's what I use: seasoned salt, garlic powder, salt, pepper, italian seasoning, and a pinch of Emeril's essence. Put the meat on simmer and keep breaking it up and browing it.
Sauce: In a large sauce pot put 1 whole clove of garlic sliced thin. Then open all cans and dump into pot and simmer on low draining the juice from the large diced tomatoes and keeping the juice from the 2 small cans. Now, dice all peppers and onions and put them in the pot stirring as you go. This should take you about ten minutes and by the time you get all the peppers in, the burgermeat should be ready. Strain the burgermeat, this helps get rid of some of the fat that is cooked out of it. Now add the chili sauce, burgermeat, and chili powder slowly stirring it in as you go. Also add some extra seasonings, a pinch of crushed red pepper, (if you have it) and a tablespoon of sugar. By now the peppers and beans should start to soften. Bring this to a boil stirring three or four times to circulate the ingredients while the water boils to the top. Then cover and simmer for 10 to 15 minutes stirring ocassionally. After you've done that you're almost there...take the cover off and add the whole bag of cheese and stir it in...let it stand for about 5-10 min with the cover off and serve. I will say this again, I know it seems like a ton of work, but once you do it once you will always know how. This will speed up the process. When I first started making it I spent about 45minutes, now it only takes me 20-30. I can't take full credit for this recipe though. A big shout out goes to my man Treez who had the base, I toyed with it, and perfected it to my taste. This version is sweet tasting with a small afterbite, but one bowl won't burn your lips. Feel free to experiment, you may come up with your own version that could be special and that you could use for years to come. Hope you enjoy Vinyl's Chili..and remember to give credit where credit is due, I did, you should too.
DISCLAIMER: The Vinylcologist will not be held responsible for undercooked meat, missing ingredients, or two day later tasty burps caused by his chili. Farts extracted from this special blend will not only clear a room, but will burn eyes, nosehairs and skin. Please eat in a well ventilated area.
Fight, Fight, a wigger and he's white...
On Monday night football last night, the teams were so hyped to play that they started to get rowdy. Two players were ejected from the game and even after that they continued to go at it. My guess is that they now have Vince Mcmahon of WWE giving pionter on how to get more viewers. I know for that whole defensive struggle of a game I didn't change the channel. ...if the wigger don't win, we're still lovin' him.
"These fuckin' wiggas shoulda made the All Madden"
Madden '06 is already blazing up the critics and review experts...part of the reason is because it has the best graphics out of any football game period. The othe other reason is because the can't stop playing it. I really can't wait to see how many people start putting on serious '06 tourneys for big money. It can't get any better than this people, and if it does you probably wouldn't be able to handle it. After actually seeing this game played and how realistic it is I can see people saying "fuck poker, who want to lose thier pension in Madden?"
My Idea Of Fantasy Football
...What's yours?
Your official NFL throwback connection. This shit is the real deal so don't even ask. Still killing it after all these years and for years to come. Get your pre-order on dun dun and break necks in yo neighbohood. These would go so nice with that.
--------eye-candy--------
You think you're gangsta?
the John Candy version.
remember...keep it gully.
...or get shot upstate. Set it.
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