MAPLE BACON TIPS

Sup my fucko's and fuckette's???? Just thought that we have another one of those talks you love sooooooooo much. It's back to the rat race tommorrow so I figured I'd let off some steam.

Speaking of pigs....

J-Zone and Celph Titled have some parodies of thier own. "Listen"

VITOCAKES...

This season's episodes of the Sopranos are really starting to get at me. Can we at least have one show that doesn't "touch" on the overtalkedabout subject of gay's and homosexuality. They should have called it "queer eye for the fat guy". I mean... seriously, the last thing I wanna see on a sunday night, with my girl, is two grown men making out. Especially when I actually was tuning in to watch a sitcom about organized crime. I may be being a little harsh, but I'm just "breaking balls". Tuna in nexta week to see if Tony getsa some smoked turkey all up in da fridge wigga.

SAMPLE DIS!!!!!

One of the first samplers I ever used. It was great for some things....rocking high school dances, stealing instrumentals, and making 12 second beats. "Can it be that it was all so simple then..."Here's some free music to keep your sorry asses coming back to this shithole of a site. FEDS my email is piratesofthecareofstealin@hotmail.com if you have and questions or would like to charge me for the use of ill legal song downloads.

----INSTANT ROTATION----The week of 4/30 - 5/6
--COPYWRITE - this guy can't fight for shit and he seems to have trouble following him, but when it comes down to it none of the cats trying to fight him physically can even touch him mentally. "I'm Baaaaack!" (ill snipper)
--PETE ROCK F. RAEKWON AND MASTA KILLA - pete rock is the only producer, besides madlib and myself that can still take samples that dozens of people robbed and make it hotter and hotter everytime. "the PJ's"
--BLAQ POET - apparently dj premier and the gang at year round are about to bring this shit back to the east. take notice and don't try to be the idiot that finds out last. "Bang Dis!"

-note: this music is a mix of some old (but not old to you) and some new....it's just that these are getting an otter's ass of play 'round here. knaah mean?!

ACID DIPPED!!!!!

If you are looking for the shit that all the straight villians wear be sure to peep this.
HAN CHOLO
...and get yer flippin game right.

SESSions.

KATZ N VINYL (LIVE!)

later fucker.

DELUXE TUX EGO

IN STORES NOW!!!!!!!
the personal pick.
The new Ugly Duckling cd. If you are a fan of underground hip-hop, funky breaks, and The Beastie Boys you're sure to love this album. Residing out of the bay area of California, these emcees are a perfect example of what hip hop needs nowadayz. VARIETY! Be Sure to cop thier early releases as well, Fresh Mode and Journey To Anywhere.


El Da Sensei is also back again with another bangin' record. Production is tight and I feel like giving this cat some love. It's a rarity, but well deserved. I'm glad that people are still down to jack records n shit that no one else has. You go El!!!!!!

DOWN TO THE GRIND ...

There hasn't been much going on in bloggerworld. ...but you can be sure that we have plenty to talk about.
Since we last spoke many, many, many ill tings been happenin'. Origin Ill is about to drop a plethora of new music. All which include the production from your favorite team.

The Leak Disc

This is a mixtape/compilation of joints that have been previously unreleased and unheard except by the creators themselves. Some of this shit I've never even heard before, Jack's never heard, and even Katz. This autta be good. The original leak disc was really some crazy shit. Lates nights at the castle in Oneonta during my college years. Some of the originals will be remastered and mixed into this as well. The price will be the same as always. Support indie music and always get your money's worth. Shunff Said.

Who Want's More??????????

The Jack N. Vinyl project is underway with 6-8 of the instrumentals complete. This in no way is a follow-up to the SMOG project. As you should know by now...there is really no way to follow something like that. This is something totally new. We still could care less if you want to comment on it, because the music is and will be always for us. N Daswhatit's all about. All Dirty Beats....All The Time!



Gone but not Forgotten Pt. 2

This is series two of the highly acclaimed time travel thru hip hop. This one will start at 1990 and go up to 06 and maybe even some '07 releases from the Origin Ill camp. Set to be released on Memorial Day Weekend, this cd will bring you to where no other cd has gone before. To the depths and back alleyways of the realness.


"CATS GOT GUNS THESE DAYS..."

This brings me to my next segment...Cats vs. Dogs. Which is better? Some will say cats because of the way that they can take care of themselves. (if so, then why the fuck we always gotta feed them and empty that rancid litterbox?) or because they don't have to be bathed as much, or maybe people just find a liking to small fuzzy things that always stay small. My mother has 3, and they don't really bother me, but that's because I don't chill there much anymore. It became three because she felt the need to save every last one that doesn't have a home. I'm convinced that if my brother and I weren't born she would live on a farm out in east bumfuck that had no animals, just cats. The issue I have with cats is that they don't seem to be as loyal as a dog. Dogs have a knack of learning and listening. They learn because most people will beat the piss out of them if they don't get off the new couch and stop shedding everywhere. I remember when I was a kid seeing my friend's father, who was a hunter at the time, throw the dog out a screen door because it pissed on the floor. (see photo above) Now if a cat pees on your floor I doubt you are going to toss it across the room. So cats really have it easy you see. I don't know if you know what it's like, but when a cat goes to the bathroom somewhere, it always goes back to the same spot. i.e. litterbox, outside, your carpet. As much as you scrub, mop, or sanitize, nothing will work. fucka cat. fro real. You want a dog. More loyal. More fun, and are always down to protect something. You think a cat is gonna do anything to stop some fools from gafflin' your shit? Nope. I'm trying to save you security fees every month here. Take my advice, a dog my eat more, may shit more and may try to get into eveything, but you can rely on one thing... it's a pet. A cat just hangs around and sheds everywhere. like i said. fucka cat. dat's nuffadat.

EYE CANDY.

Vida. Don't you love it.


...more blog fun sooner than you thought.

FOOGAYZEEEE

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

SUGARBOWLS AND 40's

The big fuckin' day is tommorrow...well. actually..today!! It's late, I'm zooted, and I figured that it wouldn't hurt to drop a few lines about who's gonna pay out the ass this year to advertise thier shit. Pizza Hut will feature an ad with the always eyefuckable Jessica Simpson and thier new stuffed with cheese that's gonna have you runnin', talkin' bout toliet bowl Sunday. Budweiser will dig deep into dem pockets trying to revive thier marketing schemes. Please guys...no lizards, or conference calls where everyone is screaming like retarded Eden Park nursing home patients. Carrerbuilder.com will be looking to score some big points with viewers...as if we didn't know they exsisted, or remembered that they did. Here's a hint...save your money fuckers, the job market blows right now. No one is going to hit up your site even if you paid them in dead nigga storage coupons. Finally, the one we've all been waiting for... The Dove (my fat ass is beautiful even though my sweat stinks like deer blood) campaign. You know, the ads you always see when you are reading O magazine fagboy. Nah, actually you aren't a fagboy, fagboys don't read this blog. There will be many more I'm sure from Coke and/or Pepsi and a ton other companies that we all know are there. They just feel the need to keep reminding us why we don't buy thier products, and why we won't switch from what we like just cause the '05 Daisy Dukes shakes her Nick abused ass.

You AnnNOID yet?

I'm pleased to say that we have a few new projects in the making...including the Jack N. Vinyl project. After going through acres of floppy discs we have at least half of the beats for the project. Special guest production from P.J. "muthafunkin'" Katz and cameos from whoever we decide to be on it. Lucky fucks...also, there has been some talk about a Sween and S.M.O.G. EP as well. Durt Murchants will have thier day in court within the next year, and be on the lookout for the ONLY Origin Ill posse cut that exists right now. Myspace. foo.

EYE CANDY...Isla Fisher...from Wedding Crashers.
till the next juan mang.

DIS, THIS, AND THAT

"How would you feel if everytime you had to piss you had to do a handstand???" ---Nice Guy Eddie ... R.I.P.

Much apoligies for being away so long. I've been crazy buzy lately recording new joints for the upcoming mixtape. Special thanks to my man P.J. Katz for the nice mixdowns.

UNGRATEFUL LITTLE WHORE!

Ok...so I'm sure you've all heard the rumors about Brad Pitt and Angelina going around that, they indeed are having a child together, and continute to adopt children as they become closer as a couple. ...and for Jen...well, who really cares whats happens with her. Fuck her, she'll always be that corny girl from friends. No wonder why her and hubby Brad didn't work out, he must want a more exciting love life. There is one thing that I really will never understand though. Why the fuck these two overpaid idiots don't adopt kids from inside the states. You'd think that they would like to give a little something back to the country (and the thier fans for that matter) for helping them get where they are now. Living the good life. Instead they have been hopping from country to country adopting little snotnose dirtbags that are covered in flies. To tell you the truth Brad may have been better off a single man. I mean shit, can you imagine all the actresses that would love to linkup with him. He could probably run through Hollywood in less than a year if he kept it on the hush. Enough about that corny shit though...I hope he like Billy Bobs sloppy hundreths. And a big FUCK YOU to you Angelina, for being the stupid fuckling of Jon Voight. I hope those kids spread the bird flu to you.

Praise The Lord...

If you didn't get a chance to see Lord Of War in the theater I suggest that you skip lunch one day with yer broke ass so that you can rent it. This movie was great from start to finish and really makes you think about what really goes on behind the politics of underground arms trading. Nick Cage couldn't have done a better job. He is also accompanied by Bridget Moynahan (of Binghamton, NY) who plays his wife and dream girl in the movie. 9 out of 10. Peep it wigga.

EXTRA HOT SAUCE!

This is what happens when you leave a pile of coke sitting on the table and your cat gets to it before you do. Just back up and wait for this shit to blow over, or you might catch and eye jammy or two.

***MUSIC***MUSIC***MUSIC***

Figured since I haven't been around in a while I'd Bless you with some treats.
...the samples. dutchmusic.
---Monk Higgins
...the classics.
---Ill Al Scratch
---K.Skills and Dr. Beckett
...the newness.
---MF DOOM and The RZA
---The Dro

March is comin'
This year we have plenty of dope players to watch and this should intensify the gambling process as well. The sheets should be coming around as soon as the Super Bowl is over. Yeah...I mean that quick. As Americans we have this addiction to all things that make us lose our money. Who knows why? We just do. I'm takin' the Seahawks... Steelers don't need the win.

2.2.06 (officially)

Wrexclusive WILL be here by the middle of the week. Get yours by emailing me @ vinylcologist@gmail.com. Price is $10. Paypal it. Whatever you have to do to get it. DO ITTTT!!!!!!!

SNOW N PROVE

Just a quickie for today...If you are looking for that classic hip hop sound that you use to love before it was flooded with overwatered wannabes, check this show and the shows to come. GET ON IT!!!! I don't show up at every show on purpose you know...to create demand. You should understand this being the non minding your own business specialist that you are... fucker. Also, every Thursday at The Lark Tavern is PCM famalam night. New performances by your favorite 518 artists every week. Now what can beat that? Lindsay Lohan's ass on my cock, that's what. Show up and get your brand new kicks stepped on for free. See you there.




maybe.

CRAPPY CHRISMAHANAKWANZIKA

Big Shouts goes to all the soldiers that are away fuckin' Iraq's shit up right now and keeping it safe for all of us over here celebrating out freedom. Shup Wiggaz! I tip my hat to you. Ya'll should too.

gyeah boi.

QUICK MUSIC UPDATE...

New Bangers:
Kweli - Drugs, Basketball and Rap...features Planet Asia (beat is serious)
Canibus - Vitruvian CanMan...new shit, old lyrical ability. (can't snooze on this one)
Nokia - Cat's Get Thrown... not the rapper, the phone. (can't get enough of this kind of marketing)

Album of The Week:

DJ Revolution's - The ABC's of High Fidelity.
If you are into just kicking back, lighting a dutch or 4, and wanna hear some great breaks, this is the album to purchase. Don't say that I didn't tell you so.

Cop Killer.

In case you haven't been following the story...let me bring you up to date. Basically, the dude who played Calogero in "A Bronx Tale" was out late drinking at a Bronx strip club with his ex-girl's father when they decided to go get some drugs to top the night off. The two men showed up at the house of an old friend, (who moved out two days previous) and proceeded to break into his house looking for Valium pills. A NYC police officer who lived next door heard the ruckus and went to check it out. Holding his badge and gun in hand he confronted the two men and a gunfight broke out. The man who was his ex-girls father shot the cop 2-4 times before being shot in the balls and twice in the chest. Calogero, was shot twice in the chest also by the cop. After a long ride to the hospital the officer died and now his family wants answers. Calogero says he feels horribly for what has happened, and that if he knew that his companion was carrying a gun he would've not let him in his car. The family of the NYC cop says that Brancato (Calogero) is a professional actor and that what he is doing is acting, and that he feels no remorse. He could be just doing this to shorten his sentence and possibly make a movie out of what happens when you use drugs and alcohol excessively. The family want to see him go to the chair. Is he acting...???could be. read for yourself and be the judge.

Battle of The Boces.

This year went by faster than extractions after a Gus's Hot Dog eating contest. What was funny though was this....Dick Clark (ABC) looked like he was gonna heel over and die during the ceremony and his wife got tongued down good, Carson Daly (NBC) botched up the countdown...let's just hope that the reason that he forgot that 3 comes after 4 is that maybe he counting on crowd participation, and not the fact that he was completely sober. Last but not least, Regis Philbin sang "New York, New York" and also rocked the crowd...He was later found in a Best Western ass naked running around after Marv Albert and boning Paris Hilton while drunk dialing Kelly Ripa.
"Oh What A Night" ---The Diabolical Biz Markie

HIP HOP YOU DONT STOP...flyers. (totally blogworthy)...good looks toast.

Sly Candy ------O-0------->

Ever wonder how Fergie got to where she is??? This is her previous girl group...Wild Orchid. Couple of hotties...huh...I said couple...which means 2, the girl in the middle is bduh bu busted, no wonder they never had a hit single. Fuck Fergie by the way. Her humps are lumped. Until the next time I feel like filling you in. Happy New Year my fellow bloggers. ----Vdot.

BLUNTLY SPEAKING

Sup Ya'll...back aagain with that ish you love reading. I just recently finished the first installment ("bluntly speaking" produced by Madlib) to the long awaited Vinylcologist solo project. You may be asking...damn, this dude's got alotta shit goin on...where does he get the time? While you guys are busy shopping for people that are goint to give you a sweater that three sizes too small, thinking that they love you, or when you are laying your oversized noggin/domepiece down on the pillow to pass out for that job you hate in the morning, I'm in the studio puttin' in work. Just think...everyday I make new joints, so that makes me ahead of you by at least a few years (or 200+ beats). It never stops, and it never will. The only thing YOU need to remember is that I don't watch a clock or put myself on a schedule. I go to bed when I'm tired and sometimes that ain't till five new tracks later at 6am. I advise you to sleep because if you try to do what I do you will need as much rest as humanly possible. Oh shizznit...almost forgot...peep the new myspace page Animal Cracker and Ed Powers set up for me. Check it regularly, cause there will be exclusives that wont ever be released on albums.

Chestnuts Roastin'

It's ....It's Christmas time again and I have some great tips on how to save a few bucks, as always during the holidays. If and when you use these great thrifty tips is really based on your own judgement, I can't help with that. What I can do though is give you darn info already, right? Riiiiiiight!....

Trees and Wreaths:
--When searching for the perfect tree or wreath you may get adjatated with all the workers that really don't know what the fuck they are doing. Bunch of kids that don't wanna be slingin' trees in the cold anyway. The best way to solve this problem is to take advantage of the situation. Just choose the tree or wreath you want, tell them that you need some rope to tie that shit to your vehicle. When they go to get the rope, you tell another one of the workers that you aren't interested anymore and this will be your alibi later on. Take a similar tree and slip it into the same spot, almost as to compare the two, Then when everyone is occupied, boat off with your new tree. "Yeahhhhhh Boooiiiiii HAHA." When the guy comes out with the rope for you he'll be like "where'd that dude go I was just helping???" ...and his co-worker will be like "ahhh, he wasn't interested and he left." He'll end up just moving on to the next customer, and before he's caught onto the scam, you got half you shit decorated already singin Christmas carols off the new cd you just downloaded. Do you think they actually take an inventory of the shit they have on the lot, it's impossible, because they are selling them too fast. Of course, the tree scam is a little harder than the wreath, so you may wanna just practice with wreaths till you get the hang of it. You can always find some idiot out there that wants a cheap wreath. After getting them home, decorate with dollar store ornaments and steer clear of tinsel and garland. That shit will have your animals dropping shiny stool samples of they happen to engulf some of it.
Gifts:
--This one is kinda tricky...You could be the Family Dollar king and just go there and drop the paycheck on cheap picture frames and Voit clothing. You could always do what the smart people do, and buy those gifts that you can benefit from as well...i.e. dinner, lingerie, concert tickets, champagne, etc. Or you could just bite the bullet and go nuts on buying regular shit. There is a catch though, as with any great idea. So let's say that you have ideas, shit let's even say that you wrote out a whole list, now you still have to deal with all the assholes in your way. The best thing that I've come up with thusfar to help relieve a little of the tention, is to shop late night. Like, I mean 830-930pm. This way you really don't have to fight in lines and over the gifts you want. It never fails, you walk into a store, there's 5 out of 10 registers open, and then when you finish shopping and go to get in line, there are fuckin' lines as long as Tommy Lee's cock with no registers open and even the 10 items or less lines are filled with people that forgot how to count cause it's Xmas! yay! Don't fret...just hit up the customer service counter or jewlery counter and have them ring you up there. If you have too much shit...just grin and bear it, and try not to pimpslap any grandmothers that are in line. Everyone else is fair game though, Fugly women, screaming kids, and we can't forget the dumb dads still rocking the zubaz and the expired members only jacket.

Entertainment:
--This one is easy...Most people get goofy games and gifts during the holidays, so just wait for one of your friends to get something you want, borrow it, and it's yours just like that. Just keep forgetting to bring it back every time you visit. Believe me, this type of thing happens all the time. I'm still waiting on a kid I knew from the fifth grade to give me back my Power Glove. Along with the games is usually a party or three to go to. My advice to you is if you hate going to these and don't wanna be invited anymore, just get completely wrecked and start making out with everyone there, you'll have people pulling you off thier lists of birthday parties, office parties, and family gatherings real quick. This will help you save money too, just think, now you don't have to get stuck with the stick of venisin pepperoni and old can of peanuts ever again.

Secret Santa:
--This one you can have some fun with. Just try to think of the most repulsing gift or group of gifts you can find. Oh, and don't forget...it has to be under 10 dollars nukka. That leaves a ton of stuff wide open. examples: 1 box of nubby ribbed condoms, a couple cans of Great Value beets, a gift certificate to Golden Corral, a soggy Jamaican beef patty with hot sauce slopped all over it, a random box of garage sale clothing...I think you get the idea. Because it's kept secret, you can just sit back and enjoy while someone gets your gifts, and know that even though you did get WWJD mouse pad, you still made out like a bandit.

Boozin' it up.

I'm about to go and get my drank and dank on....but before I go, there are somethings I'd like to bring to yer attention.

Mr. F.

Flava Flav is coming out with a new show on Vh1. It's almost like a version of the bachelor, but where Flava is the bachelor. I can't wait for this...I'm putting the choice dro buds in storage, because this is gonna be a hilarious show. Be ready. I was unable at this time to find the title, or the premier date, but keep the knob locked to Vh1 for more info. Don't even bother with the website...they're more behind than Vida Guerra's ass.

Cactus Jackass.

Stocking Stuffers:
Jaime Cullum remix f. Casual (audio)
Kanye West lo-fi freestyle (audio)
Madlib - sound directions (movie) <---totally blogworthy. thx katz.
Let's save the music. If everyone donated just one dollar, I'd have enough to actually put out wax instead of cds. If you feel the need to bring the talent back into hip-hop, donate a dollar to vinylcologist@hotmail.com via paypal. The spare silver you could find in your couch cushions is enough, one of those dollars you lose on a scratch off is enough, even the extra pennies you leave behind at gas stations could do it. Please pass this message on to at least 2 friends. Help us put out the wax, and the chance we deserve.
Until we meet next year, (maybe). Happy Holidaze. and have a Floppy New Year.