INTAMURALS

What's good fellow readers writers. Been a minute since I have blogged and have a few special treats for you. Some dope eye candy for all my graffiti heads, fresh music (as always), and a special photo segment filled with gripes and personal hatred.


Unknown Artist for both. Realistic as hell.

BANKSY

London based artist Banksy keeps the great ideas flowing constantly. Some of his artworks have been said to be worth millions. Vandalism or Creative expression, the question is asked again as another pop artist of our time carves his niche in the art world.


Banksy recently came to Brooklyn NY.


Just plain ill.


Peace Molotov. This would make an ill tattoo. He'd have to be throwing a spray can at police though.


Man I think he put it perfectly. We all hate the meter readers.

THE ANNOYING INDUSTRY'S

ASS OF 2010
Chillin' here with a jip and some JD I was admiring my high school years. It seems we've all lost touch a bit and I couldn't help but to dig up some class photos and an old video that was a favorite of mine.


Drizzy

Drake was all over this year and if I hear his overconfident ass again I'm going to snap and dropkick the fucking stereo. Here's what I sing everytime I hear or see that stupid commercial he's in.
"Last name, ever,
First name, gayest....
Drake never fucked a girl,
because he loves anus,

gettin shoved down your throat,
that's how he became famous,
never be a real rapper,
cause he'll always be the lamest..."
See, anyone can be a rapper....even you.
 Part of why our society is going to shit is because we are riding the dicks of people from Canada and other countries. I remember going to Montreal and being amazed at how much our icon and culture influenced them. Can someone tell me what happened? Michael Buble' is another one...this wannabe Frank and Dean couldn't get a better gimmick. "I wouldn't give the bum a mopjob." Deniro said. Heeeeeey, here's a great idea, why not try to be original again. Yeah, you know, like we used to be back in the day. We went from being builders and suppliers of the world to consumers looking for the cheapest, best deal possible, and settling for an industry filled with fake people, corny music and lame movie remakes. We seriously must look like assholes to the rest of the world looking up to some of these flakes on the idiot box. I can't wait for the Back To The Future trilogy to be remade featuring  Betty White as Loranne, Antione Dodson as Mayor Goldie Wilson, and Busta Rhymes as Biff. "oh Biff????!!!" How many historic sitcoms and classic old movies are we going to fucking ruin by remaking them starring Will Smith's kids and Steve Carrel. I'm sorry, but I walked out of the movie Independence Day when I saw Will Smith It didn't take me long to realize that if the world were going to come to an end, the not-so Fresh Prince wasn't gonna be able to do shit to save our sorry asses. To this day I refuse to watch ANY Will Smith movie. That's like Larry David co-starring with Jason Statham in Crank 8. Fuck it. I'll wait for it to hit DVD. Oh shit, but it's only on blu-ray. Guess we all got burned again. You'll see me talking some shit like "I spent a ton of dough on my movie collection, now my kids can't eat, unemployment is expired, and everything went to fucking blu-ray. I must sell it, but I can't wait that long, "IT'S MY MONEY AND I NEED IT NOW!!!" (screaming with a gun to my head)

Ditty

I started DJing around the time he became an intern at Uptown records. Damn I'm old.


Nikki


I have no clue what the obsession was with this clown. Lil' Kim has her by a mile.
Not to mention, her music blows in my opinion.
 
Ricky

Rick Ross , aka Security Rent-A-COP Officer Rick Ross aka Albert Anastasia, aka let me steal the name of a famous gangster and act like I'm the real one. aka let me act like I'm affiliated with white mobsters by naming all my releases after them.. aka let me steal Suge Knight's look and act like it was mine. aka Jigga made himself look like a horrible A and R  and never should have singed me. aka Please keep ya shirt on.


Kimmy

Keeping up with the Celebretards. Someone give me my own show on the E! network and see if I don't become famous. We can call it 33 and Ignorant.


Cudi

 I actually took the time to steal his album. Surprising to say the least.
Rager 2 wasn't bad, but it wasn't that good either.


Cornyay

What can I say. In the next day or two he'll say, or do something else that will make him look like the real person that he is. A fuckin' fool. I would love to be his most annoying fan and just follow him around with a radio like John Cusack from Say Anything .  Have it blasting "they should've never gave you niggas money" from Chapple's Show on loop. But I'd probably get people saying that I was a racist. Hey, I guess i could give Michael Richard's a call, I'm sure he isn't doing shit. I wonder if his girl cut her hair off on her own or if cornyay made her do it so that she would look more like the man he always wanted.


Weezy

Freeeee Weeeeezzzzzy . If these aren't the simplest verses ever written I don't know what is.
I seriously think that if him and the Nutcracker from the Group Home were to battle, that Nut would win it by a landslide. Dudes got young money....from all his days with Master P. He's just everywhere now, his music still sucks and for the record, he can't sing. Well, they said Bob Dylan couldn't sing either.

Katy

Katy Perry looks more like a nobody here. I'm sure it was Field Day and you know that there was one of those giant orange coolers somewhere filled with Hi-C Orange Drink. Isn't it amazing what a little money can do to an average girl.

Ke$ha

This was the girl that everyone got a BJ from, but no one wanted to have sex with her. She was the 'teamtaker'. Afterschool head was the best.


Pharell

This is where they must have got the outline for the chunky Nefertiti  medallions back in the 90's. I always at least give try to his shit a listen, but haven't found one song worth playing on any of their horrible n.e.r.d. albums.


Asher

Imagine this guy is trying to act hard now like he's been in it from the get-go. Comon-man, You used to rock flip-flop....and your a man....and you sound too much like Eminem to even be signed by his label. I'm still scratching my head wondering what the fuck he was thinking? I wish I sent him my demo. Then again, if he's willing to sign this guy, I'm glad I didn't.


Beyonce

I got love for Beyonce, she's supertalented. If I could ask her anything it would be, "how come when you were with Destiny's Child all your song names were the same word, three time in a row?" ie. no, no no, bills, bills, bills, etc. Probably never to that class on how to name songs.

Meat Drapes

Lady Gaga is becoming a victim of her own fame. She is actually pretty talented and can play piano extremely well. I'm predicting that she will have a long career as a pop icon. That entails buying and reopening Neverland, Keeping herself in seclusion while doing interviews only for OWN Network, and doing a nationwide tour to all the best steakhouses in the US with Guy Fieri.


...and the best for last. I laughed so hard and blew all the tree out of the pipe and almost caught the carpet on fire when I saw this.
Lil' Jon

nnnnYYYYeeeaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
That one picture looks like that muppet of Robin Harris from way back when.
Lil' Jon was the original Urkel, fuck that.


They Should Be Homeless

It's funny, this song is over 10 years old yet it still describes 99% of the music industry today.

Stray_Phrases-Donuts_Live-2010-UC

The brand new 'live' recordings of Dilla's Donuts.
I've had these for a bit, but I figured why not be a good guy and share.
Remember where you got it first. 
Only from United Crates.
     DOWNLOAD
    DONUTS LIVE

Check out Toby's new trick.

More shit to come.

FULLY BLOATED

Well Christmas is over and we've probably all ate good an stuffed ourselves with plenty of cookies and great home-cooked food. I'm just glad to have 2 f%ckin' seconds to myself to write this blog post. I know you've been waiting, because I have as well. It's been one party after another and gift upon gift. i have to say a special thanks to my man Papa Nucc for hooking me up this year with a bottle of the Limited Edition Absolute Brooklyn. I have yet to bust this open, but it's only right to do it when Nucc is in the house. We knocked out a great deal of music this year and hope to do the same in 2011. 2011, geezus christ, where did the years go. Oh shit!, I know where they went. into oblivion. It's hard to believe that Nucc and myself have been working on music together for 15 years. Salute.


The_Vinylcologist-Break_It_Down_2010-JCE

Here's the next gauntlet in the series of break discs.
Features some breaks you wouldn't think were breaks.
You know the songs. Now know the history.
DOWNLOAD Break It Down.

The_Roots_The_Christmas_Song-(Live on Late Nite)-2010-UCA

One of the illest things I saw this year.
Hands down classic.

 13 AND GOOD.

HEAVY METAL PARKING LOT is considered one of the greatest rock and roll movies of all time, although it’s actually a hilarious documentary tribute to rock and roll’s GREATEST FANS. Filmed in 1986 at a Maryland concert arena parking lot before a heavy metal show, HMPL is an unvarnished anthropological study of American metalheads in their mid-’80s glory.
It is the quintessential ‘80s magnum opus, made complete with a vast display of muscle cars, over-tight spandex, bleach-blonde frizzy and frosted perms, bare-chested dudes, mullets galore, faded denim metal chicks, and the largest collection of late ‘70s Camaros ever seen in one location. Virtually unknown to mainstream audiences for two decades, HMPL was a VHS bootleg favorite among musicians, movie stars and cult-video fanatics worldwide. Fuck the assholes trying to make a buck with their Ads. Stick it out I tell ya, it's only a short film and you're guaranteed to laugh. Dudes must have been doing blow to think that they looked good. Even the girls look like they bit a bullet and are nowhere near what Samantha Fox used to look like back then. Enjoy this shitty quality video.

NEW YEARS DIN DIN


Here's a pair of lobster dunks that dropped recently. I tried to get my hands on a pair of these with no luck. Super crazy limited with the butter laces. Ever since I was a kid I've always loved lobster. My parents used to take me out to dinner for it if my grades were up to par. I remember when Oceans 11 was a restaurant on Western Ave. Dag nabit, those were the days.Tonite it's beef short ribs w/ lobster tails and Barolo. For those who don't know what Barolo is, Google it, or book a vaca to Italy. You'll soon catch on.

WAXY NEW YEAR

Grrrrreaaaaaaat, let's bring in another year with everyone's favorite folk art antique, Dick Clark. To be honest, I'm still trying to figure out if that's really him or a stuffed piece of taxidermy. When he isn't getting busted for payola or buying up copyrights he's dropping gems literally every year. The ball that drops is covered in crystal from Swarovski (usually) and is witnessed by over 1 Billion people each year.This year marks the end of an era. The '00's that helped build entertainment and ruin it simultaneously are forever gone. The DDT to the economy that effected us all will remain. Finally, however many scandals in sports, music, ent., etc. The industry armageddon is inevitable. Fergie smells like clam dip. On to the Dub-Digis!

THE RHYTHM, THE REBEL


Inspecta deck-forget me not (vinylcologist_remix) by The Vinylcologist
Taken from "Refried Redneck Remixes", this full-length should be dropping on the 1st, but there's been too much shit going on to even think.
Don't ever say I didn't give it to you straight.

Mo Newness.

Big_Malk-Christmas_In_Windsor-2010-DGM

Here's that new beat disc from my man Big Malk.
All Xmas samples.
Homie never disappoints. 
Get up on it or Santa Claus will pass your house next year.
Peep and Grab.

Are you ready for 20wenty 11leven? I'm not.



Happy New Year!!! (crazy kazoo sound here) (annoying jennifer hudson commercial here)

SLEEP WITH THE 7 FISHES

This game looks like it's gonna be sick. I can still remember spending hours on end playing the original on PS2 trying to beat it. Maybe if I'm lucky Santa will bring me a PS3 when he rolls through. His sleigh was recently spotted in and around the Hunt's Point area scooping up sloppy elf hookers. He will have quite the appetite so be sure to leave out some cookies for the man. He loves banana walnut oatmeal coconut chocolate chip w. sour sprinkles.

Merry Frickin' Chrissmas.

This skit is a few years old, but if you haven't seen or heard it you'll get a kick out of this for sure. Did he say Nucc?

...and yet even more fun with the I talians.

Russian Mob on vaca. You know that shit is all inclusive. Gold like that helps take the focus away from the saggy tits and hideous tights. That chain is truck! Ayyyyyyyyy! Damn, I haven't used that word since Redhead Kingpin and the FBI were in heavy rotation.


Time Fly

Here's a look back at a brief history of hip-hop clothing.

ADIDAS (RAISING HELL)


Early ass sponsorshit. Never had one of these, wish I did now though.

SKIDZ

If you had a pair of these you were cool. If you didn't, you were a bum. If you still have a pair, they better be your pajamas. Only other thing they could possibly be used for is a makeshift tablecloth.

Z.CAVARICCI

These were the nuthuggers that coined the term. Oh, or maybe it was LEE jeans. Whateva, either waaaaayy, you better not still have a pair of these. I'll fuck you up if I see you, and you'll catch another one the next time our paths cross if I catch you with a tightroll on your cuff.

CROSS COLOURS

I had a few pairs of these. It actually wasn't a bad idea... use different color thread in the seams of the jeans. They were hella comfortable too. Some of the shirts were overly loud and some of the authentic ones looked like bootlegs. Must have been an idiot that started this company. Colors is spelled wrong as well. They faded and never came back. Kinda like Special Ed.


GUESS JEANS

The expensive, Mercedes of jeans. They still make jeans today I think. No more triangle patch though, who knows why? Maybe because all the people that bootlegged the shirts. You remember the ones with the stripes that said 'guess jeans' across the front. Classic high school dance shit. Got me some digits tho, I can't fuckin' complain.

40 ACRES

This was pro-black company that had no shortage of young white followers. They produced some gear to promote movies like 'Malcolm X' and "Crooklyn'.  I know Spike Lee had something to do with this company, could care less what it was. Remember where you made your the majority of your dough Spizike'... off all the white kids wanting to be black. They call them Wiggers.


AIR JORDAN VII (BORDEAUX) OG

These are what set me apart from everyone else in high school. My mother treated my brother and myself to a pair each. I got these joints, and my bro copped the white jumps. I wish i never took them out of the box. They wouldn't fit me, but I'm positive I could get some serious scratch for these. Pure bargaining power right here.



KARL KANI JEANS

My freshman year in high school this is all I rocked. I had just about every different color of these embroidered tees. The favorites were orange and silver, the foil rainbow reflector joint, and the one shown in the pick. Did I forget to mention I also copped the Olympic AJ VII's. They went perfect with this tee.

SERIAL KILLER

There was only 2 places that sold these tees around me. Gspot, shouts to my man AntDaG, and some random store in the mall. I don't know why some hasn't attempted this with all the new celebs. Hey, that's a good idea. Be on the lookout for the new 'PULLIN CARDS' clothing line coming soon.

KINGPIN


Kingpin gear came around and their logo and concepts were dope as fuck. I owned at least 3 of these tees. They are still in business making MMA gear or some shit like that. Refer to your nearest Burlington Coat Factory to see how this company went from Kingpin to clothespin.

WU WEAR

The first Wu gear I ever bought was in Staten Island right from the Wu Wear store. We had heard about the grand opening and decided to go down and check it out. I copped a few tees and my man Treez scooped up a fleece and a dope Wu hat. The total bill was like $400 or some shit. Then we drove back and hit a party that night and people were buggin when they saw the gear. We both got ass that night. Twice.

I'll see if I can find some more, and don't try to bite my ideas and reblog it fuckface.

Where Everybody Knew My Name.

LARK TAVERN

Haven't heard any word on when, or even if Lark Tavern will reopen. I made it to the shows that I could and enjoyed chillin with the rest of my people at Lark Tav. I can't wait to see if they hook this place up. I guess for the time being Tess and the gang have been bar tending and doing band nights at Mcguirys. Catch up with them over there and tell them Vinyl said hello. We can only hope they use some of that cash to expand the parking lot.

I gotta be out, someone just walked in.

FAM FRESH

Papa_Nucc-Organic_Winter_Sampler-2010-UC

I'm check this out right now and this shit is tight. Most of these I heard because I did cuts on a few. I always respect the music though and try to wait until the entire product drops before playing shit out to myself. That's no fuckin' fun, then when the shit actually does drop, you aren't enjoying it along with everyone else. Nucc always comes correct and we have more great music on the way. I'm working on ripping a live radio broadcast from a few weeks ago on WRPI. Shit is fire, but I want to edit it and clean it up before dropping it. Stay in touch to the blog to find out more about that.
 In the mean time.... Grab This!

DATADAY

Sorry I haven't posed a while...I just wanted to give 'The Empire Plan' some time at the top of the blog. Please refer all further downloads of the album to The Official Discography of The Vinylcologist. Always more content to come. You know me.


Dog_Day_Afternoon

I had to run to Stall-Mart the other day to grab something and as usual got held up by their dumb-ass staff. Onionfunk idiot didn't know how to do a double transaction. These are the overstuffed, underfucked people they have helping you this holiday season. Be sure to bring extra cash and tip well. Anyway, I was browsing around and saw "Dog Day Afternoon" for $5 and had to have it. Which made the transaction even more complicated for Wetard Randyballs at the register. I wasn't leaving till I had the shit I came there to get and the movie I couldn't wait to get home and watch. In the end it was well worth the aggravation and hassle. I recommend you get up on how not to rob a bank. Attica!

"tell 'em put their guns down!" ...and someone get me a helicopter a plane, and a fuckin manager!!!!

ON THE RECORDS
Big Shug- F. DJ Premier

Had to post this shit. I love the way they flipped this with all the vintage equipment. This is actually from '07 but they didn't release the video till this year. Big ups to Shuggy Diamonds and Mean Joe Preme.


Burn Bollywood Burn

Don't fall victim to pure stupidity dis year. Grab you some of dose Family Dollar Xmas lights. Be sure to pick up some condoms da next time you hit duh place up playa. Time to go get some ash. Lates.

BETWEEN THE LIONS

The_Vinylcologist-The_Empire_Plan-2010-JCE


Alright, already. Here it is!
Hey,....The suspense was killing me as well. That's why I pushed the date back up. ...that, and because we can do that kind of shit over here at United Crates. I'd like to personally thank everyone who has been extra supportive and patiently waited on this project to drop. It's been a long time coming. I assure you that you will not be disappointed. Be sure to make a few extra copies of this to spread around. One for Grandma, One for Dad , and an extra one for yourself. This will get stolen out of your car. Be sure to follow United Crates on Twitter @unitedcrates. Please, be patient and allow some time for me to reply. Don't expect me to be hypertweeting, I have bigger fish to fry and better beats to break. If you did find us via Twitter consider yourself lucky and smarter than the average bear. Aight, you've waited long enough.
Enjoy.
DOWNLOAD THE EMPIRE PLAN
"he came, he saw, he kicked some ass!" -some old movie, I can't remember the name
Recorded and Produced by The Vinylcologist
Mastered by P.J. Katz
Cover Design by Flux and The Vinylcologist

Animal Cracker apppears courtesy of FWORD Records
Jack Of All Trades appears courtesy of Scotch Late Nights Music
GM appears courtesy of GCE Entertainment
Ed Powers appears courtesy of Inktoxic Inc.
Don Smog appears courtesy of Tackleburied Media

SUSPENCED

I always thought as a kid this logo did have something to do with the WWF.



He's old as dirt now. What you can't see is his wheelchair and diaper.



It should say "Jared get's no pussy"

FRILLTASTIC!!!


I was just bullshitting about why no one thinks of anything original like 'In Living Color'. Even 'Saturday Night Live' has sucked since the Sandler and Farley alum left. Nah, they'd much rather follow the trend and put out a corny reality show that is anything but reality. My favorite is "Desperate Housewhores That Swallow For Benzes But Get Cheated on By Their Husbands While Throwing Their Daughters Super Sweet 16 Teen Pregnancy Party". Good show right there. More comedy, less drama please. World. Is anyone fuckin' there?


I feel like a zombie. I have to go to bed.



g'night wiggas.

ALIEN FLEMINADE FABLES

Hello all established readers, fans, and followers. I know that you have been without the knowledge of why I haven't officially dropped my album. I'm going to give it too you straight because I want you to really know what happened. I would've loved to release The Empire Plan on my birthday, which was Black Friday. I had the album done for 2 months actually, but decided to added another song that I felt had to be on there, in turn, it slowed the process. I gave the final to Papa Nucc and he started work on it right away. The day before Thanksgiving Katz had about 75% of it mastered at that point. He was going away for Thanksgiving, and I'm sure if I stayed on top of it, he would've have had it done. I'm just not the guy that bugs the shit out of people to get shit done. I'd rather leave them alone to do their thing. The one thing I didn't want to happen though was for it to be rushed, so me being me, I told him take his time and do his best. If it didn't drop on Black Friday who cares. I know a good amount of people are waiting for it, but the true fans would give me a break because I gave them one. Pun intended. I pushed it back to Xmas eve and that made me feel comfortable that it would be done by then. Well, turns out it will be finished early, so I will give it out this coming Friday. I promise, you will not be let down. I've been giving random people listens and taking their feedback. Not because I'm going to change anything, but because I'm curious about what they think of the album. Everyone enjoyed what they heard. Good for me, but better for you. This album will be given out for free for promotional use only and only be intended for use as a parody of the music industry as a whole. 

Here's another good Christmas cd for your collection.

OPEN YOUR GIFT


3DEE


I think this is titled Gates of Hell, but not sure. This shit is nuts. I don't know how they do it. You know you'd be nervous to walk over it.

Don't ask me why I've been ending the blogs with a funny .gif file.

Just enjoy the ride.

FLY DAY

Be sure to check out The Capital Coup Hosted by Albany's own Lofi Lobo. Every Friday from 10-12, and sometimes longer. Oh shit, It's coming on in an hour or so. Stream it HERE.
He plays the best in exclusive local, and underground  hip hop. I tune in every week and have yet to be disappointed. I feel like a dick I haven't put this up sooner. Big up to Lobo, Dj Trumaster, and the rest of my 518 heads.

"WHEN I WAS ALL SO SIMPLE" (and plain.)

I remember begging my mother to buy me this because I was the only kid in the neighborhood that didn't have one. Everyone was racing theirs every sat morning on a homemade dirt track my buddy had in his backyard. I just wanted to be down with that. When I finally got mine it was over. I used to work on models when I was growing up, so I had an advantage over the other kids. Before I even brought it to the first race, I stripped the stickers off it and custom painted it black with blue writing. Added racing stickers i got out of a gumball machine. It looked crazy, and all the other kids had the one in the picture. You can bet your ass the next week everyone was trying to paint their shit up. Some of them looked like a finger painting threw up, other kids actually enlisted their dads' to help them. It's just funny to me to recall that story at Christmas 2010, knowing that I was trying to be different way back then. Guess some things never change.


This was the Jumpity Jump when I was growing up. Vanessa's Lunchbox. This was top of the line back in the day.

Speaking of Vanessa. Awshit. We always forgive, but we never forget.


Hey Kobe, we're all still waiting on a followup to your 2000 hip hop release.


Juss Listen.


This is the 85th time he played "eye of the tiger" at his Xmas party.

Word is.

BUMFOUNDED

Check out these 2 assholes on Broadway in Saratoga trying to mount this horse for a picture. This really gets out of hand. This is what happens when you let Jim Beam empty your wallet. Feel free to put your own tune to it. I used Glen Campbell's "Rhinestone Cowboy'. I feel this is what country songs were made for.
You can't hear any audio, but I'm pretty sure they were saying: "nanana na one more, one mo, one more"
After all is said and done his boy actually got the still pic. I don't care what anyone says, that's animal abuse. Poor horse.

MERRYCHRISMAHANAKWANZICKA

Booker_T._and_The_MG's-In_The_Christmas_Spirit-1966-UC


Dope ass holiday LP Booker T and the MG's  put out on Atlantic. 
go ahead, get your DOWNLOAD on.

                 COMMON COURTESY

Never saw someone get owned By an old lady. I feel sorry for the idiot that trys to steal her purse. If you watch closely, she is actually asleep at the crosswalk.

TYE RAID

Sportscenter threw down it top 10 tirades last night and it was everything I expected. I love watching people lose control. Glad to know that I'm not the only one.

We stay makin' moves.


I'm out, till the next one.